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[merrybloomwrites]

You Can Start a Family (Chapter 7)

Summary:

Reader joins Mitch and Sarah for Love on Tour! First stop, Slane.

Previous Chapters: One ; Two ; Three ; Four ; Five ; Six

TW for this chapter: Smut

AN: My original plan for this chapter was to cover the entire time reader joins them for Love on Tour (aka Slane, Wembley, Cardiff, Belguim) but I once again got carried away. It's the longest chapter yet but only covers Ireland haha

Hope you enjoy!

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Mitch and Sarah love touring, but it doesn’t mean they don’t miss you. They have what they consider the best job in the world, but they’re still counting down the days until they see you again.

They love getting to do video calls, taking you on walks through the countries they’re in. They get excited each time you send an audio message because you want to tell them more information than you have the patience to text.

On more than one occasion, they’ve called or FaceTimed after a show, both too wound up to sleep right away. In the past they would just burn off that extra energy together in bed, but now they want you to be involved as well. Because of the time difference you’re normally just finishing dinner when this happens, and you’ve learned to keep your phone well charged even at the end of the day for situations like this. You love watching them together, listening to them tell you what to do with your hands, what they would do to you if you were all together. You wish you could be with them, pleasing them, but you admit this is better than nothing.

On a more innocent note, Mitch and Sarah absolutely love the adorable videos of you and Ryan that Tammy sends. There are videos of you both running around the yard, swimming in the pool, and tending to the garden. Their favorite is sent to them one evening shortly before a show. It’s of you and Ryan listening to Satellite and dancing. You’re both spinning around and then you begin to do the Satellite Stomps as dramatically as possible, sending Ryan into a fit of belly laughs so contagious that you fall over laughing as well.

Sarah’s the first to see the video and walks over to share it with Mitch. She hands him the phone and they watch together multiple times, huge smiles on both of their faces.

“That’s your new friend Y/N, right?” Harry asks. They both quickly turn, surprised to see they aren’t alone in their corner of the band dressing room.  

“Yea, that’s her,” Sarah answers, handing over the phone to Harry who presses play on the video. He also breaks into a huge grin. He always loves to see people of all ages enjoying his music, and it’s easy to tell that you and Ryan are having an absolute blast listening to it.

“She’s cute,” he says. Mitch and Sarah both softly agree, eyes back on the video of you. Harry watches them, curious about their reactions. There’s a certain look on their faces, one that takes him a minute to place but when he does, he’s more confused. It was a look of love and adoration that Mitch and Sarah always reserved for one another.

Before he can ask about that he’s pulled away to finish getting ready for the show.

***********

After nearly 5 weeks apart, it’s finally time for you to take your first international flight to join them on tour.

You’re finishing up at work, ready to stop home, grab your bags, and head to the airport. As you leave, you thank Ryan’s mom again for agreeing to take care of your cats while you’re gone.

Meanwhile Mitch and Sarah are equal parts excited and nervous for the following day. They cannot wait to reunite with you, but it’s also Mitch’s first solo show and that comes with a lot of nerves. Sure, they’ve been touring forever, but this is different. It’s Mitch’s own music, his vibe very different from Harry’s, and he’s not sure what the fans will think. Not to mention it’s one of the largest crowds they’ve ever played for.

Once you get to your gate at the airport you call them, knowing that it’s around the time they’ll be getting into bed. One thing you’re excited about is being in the same time zone, tired of doing mental math every time you want to talk to them.

“Hi love!” Sarah says as she picks up. “Are you at the airport?”

“Yup! Just got to my gate. Wanted to check in before it got too late over there.”

“Well, you caught us at the perfect time then,” she replies. “I was just reading a little in bed, waiting for Mitch to join me.”

“How’s he doing?”

“Oh, he’s a bit nervous about tomorrow, I think he’s excited though. Harry’s been teaching him a lot of tricks to help with the nerves, so I think that has him feeling more confident.”

“That’s good! Do you think I’ll see you guys before he goes on?”

“You should. Mitch and I have to head over to the venue pretty early but everyone else isn't leaving until later in the day. You’ll be given all the details when you get to the hotel tomorrow, but I think the plan is for you to ride over with Elin and Ariza.”

“Oh, cool! I’m so excited! This is going to be amazing, and I cannot wait to see you both.”

“We can’t wait either. Oh, here’s Mitch, I’ll let you two talk a bit.”

There’s a pause on the other line before you hear Mitch’s soft voice. “Hey, babe,” he says.

“Hi, how are you feeling?”

“Good. I mean, nervous, but in a good way I think. It’s like, adrenaline maybe? Honestly, I’m just trying to focus on the fact that we’ll get to see you in a few hours.”

You melt a little at his words, and you can’t help but smile knowing that you’re going to see them so soon. It’s been hard going so long without them, and comments like this let you know you’re not the only one who’s been struggling with the separation.

You talk to Mitch and Sarah for a little longer, sharing stories to relax them so they can fall asleep and be ready for the following day. Once you hear that they’ve switched to their sleepy voices you wish them goodnight and hang up.

You’re too excited to read your book so you take a walk through the terminal while waiting to board. You’re unfortunately no less riled up on the plane, trying to sleep but managing only an hour or two.

Next thing you know, you’re landing in Ireland, finally in a country other than the United States for the first time in your life. You’re tired, and a tad anxious about all the unknown around you, but still thrumming with energy knowing that you’ll see Mitch and Sarah in just a couple hours.

You find the car that will take you to the hotel and the 30-minute drive passes quickly as you watch the scenery out the window. You arrive at the hotel, check in, and a minute later a young woman walks up to you asking, “Are you Y/N?”

“Yes, I am,” you reply.

“Perfect, you’re right on time! I’m Becca, one of the assistants for the tour.” You shake her hand, and she continues, “I have you leaving in 1 hour with Elin, Ariza, and Pauli to head over to the venue. Will you be ready then? If not, I could place you in a van leaving a bit later.”

“I will absolutely be ready in 1 hour,” you say with a smile. Sure, you’re tired and grimy from flying, but you don’t want to delay your reunion another minute.

“Wonderful, we’ll be meeting in the lounge on the 3rd floor.”

“Thank you so much!”

You head up to your room to shower and get ready. You’re glad your outfit hadn’t wrinkled in your bag, so that’s one less thing to worry about. You get dressed, put on your makeup, and style your hair. There are only a few minutes before you need to meet up with everyone, so you grab your bag and head over.

The past day has already been such a whirlwind, and it isn’t until you’re outside the door to the lounge that you remember how many new people you’ll be meeting that day. Not just new people, but musicians you’ve been admiring for months, some for years.

The nerves hit you as soon as you walk into the room and see Elin, Ariza, and Pauli sitting on the couches. They immediately look at you as you walk in, and you feel like the outsider walking into a Saloon in an Old Western movie.

The feeling only lasts for a second before all three of them break out into smiles and get up to introduce themselves. They’re all absolutely lovely and the drive over to Slane Castle is filled with wonderful conversation. You let Pauli know how much you love their new song Saucy, that you’d listened to it at least a dozen times since it was released the previous day.

In no time at all the van is pulling into the venue. You’re amazed at the size of it, at the beauty of the castle. For a moment you think of your grandfather, whose family had come from Ireland, and suddenly feel a moment of connection to him. You know he would’ve absolutely loved to see this place, even been excited just to know you were able to go there.

You’re broken from your reverie by the others getting out of the van, and you follow them to backstage area that’s been set up. Thoughts of your family are chased out by one single thought: Mitch and Sarah are here.

You try to be patient. After all you don’t actually know where they are or where to go, but it’s taking everything in you not to start running through the halls to find them. You continue to follow the other band members, assuming they’re heading to the band dressing room, and you’ll find Mitch and Sarah there, but you get stopped by another member of the crew.

There’s a moment where you’re scared that he’s going to question who you are and if you’re allowed there, but he just says, “You’re Mitch and Sarah’s friend? They have a Y/N on their list set to arrive at this time. Is that you?”

“Yes, I’m Y/N,” you say, amazed by the level of professionalism and coordination that goes into the tour.

“I’ll show you to their dressing room.”

You smile and nod, following him further down the hallway.

“They’re finishing soundcheck, but you can wait in there for them.”

“Great, thank you so much!” As soon as you finish your sentence he’s gone, onto his next task of this incredibly busy day.

It’s chillier than you expected it to be, and you look over to see Mitch’s bag in the corner. There are a couple sweatshirts inside, and you grab one to put on, hoping he won’t mind.

You sit on the couch that’s in the room, resting your eyes while waiting for them. It’s only a bit longer before you hear the door opening. You don’t even have time to get up before you have a lap full of Sarah. Her limbs wrap around you and your arms go around her waist, holding her as close as possible. She tucks her face into your neck, and you feel Mitch sit on the couch next to you both. He leans in, pressing kisses to the side of your head.

You look up at him with a smile before he checks the door is closed and firmly slots his lips against yours. It’s passionate, but quick. As soon as you break apart, Sarah pulls you in for a similar kiss of her own.

You blink at both of them, partially dazed by the intensity of the greeting you received, partially unable to believe that you’re really here with them. It’s been 5 weeks since you’ve seen them, and tears well up in your eyes at the overwhelming relief of being held by them.

“You’re here,” Sarah whispers as though she can’t believe it.

“I’m here,” you reply just as quietly. She moves off of your lap and Mitch pulls you onto his. You’re sitting sideways so your legs lay over Sarah’s, and Mitch’s arms hold you tight. You hold Sarah’s hand in yours, and just sit quietly.

No one knows how long you all sit in silence, simply enjoying being together again, but you’re interrupted by Mitch’s phone ringing. He’s only on the call a moment before hanging up with a polite “thank you”.

“There’s food set out for lunch,” he informs you both.

You and Sarah nod to acknowledge this but make no move to get up until your stomach starts to growl.

“Let’s get you something to eat,” Mitch says, and you finally force yourself off of his lap. They walk over to the door, and you take a deep breath before following.

“Are you alright, love?” Sarah asks.

“Yea, just nervous about meeting everyone else.”

“Well, you’ve got us, and you’ve already met half the band. How were they this morning?”

“Very welcoming. Pauli ended up in our van too, so we talked a lot about their new music.”

“See? Nothing to be nervous about.” She places her hand lightly on your back knowing that the touch along with her words would help ease your anxiety. You’re still slightly overwhelmed walking into the room where lunch was set up but find quickly that there’s no need to be worried.

You meet the rest of the band and enjoy some delicious food. After a little while Mitch gets up saying that he needs to start getting ready. Sarah stands as well, and you look at them, unsure if you’re supposed to follow. Mitch tilts his head slightly and you understand that he wants you to go with them.  

It’s while you’re walking back to the dressing room that you meet Harry Styles in person for the first time. You’re grateful for the few times you’ve spoken on the phone or FaceTime because you’re able to keep calm and not fangirl at all. He walks with you all back to the room, wanting to talk with Mitch before his first solo set.

While the boys are talking, you sit with Sarah and watch her do her hair and makeup. She asks about your flight and what you think of the Irish scenery so far; all the small talk you avoided before lunch.

After a couple minutes Harry stands, saying, “Alright well I’ll let you guys finish getting ready. Y/N, would you like me to help you find someone to show you where to watch from?”

Before you can answer Mitch replies, “Actually Pete’s supposed to come back in a little bit to show her.”

“Oh, okay. Sounds good then. Y/N it was lovely officially meeting you. I hope you enjoy the show.”

You smile and wave as he walks away, all of you unaware of how closely he was observing your trio. Harry knew Mitch likes his time away from everyone, and assumed he would want no one other than Sarah before getting on stage, but here he is insisting this new friend stays. Harry also noticed how comfortable you and Sarah were while she was getting ready, small touches shared between you. He figures it could just be friendly, you helping her make sure her hair is exactly in place, but for some reason it seemed more intimate than that. Add on the fact that you’re definitely wearing one of Mitch’s sweatshirts and Harry finds himself once again curious about your relationship with the couple.

After Harry’s gone, they quickly finish with their prep and get dressed. There are a few minutes left before they need to get their in-ears and head to the stage.

You watch as Mitch crosses to the door, locking it. He first walks over to Sarah, pulling her in for a deep, searing kiss. It’s short, but passionate. He turns to you and does the same. It’s a kiss with so much emotion that it fills your whole body with warmth.

As he goes to pull away you quietly tell him how wonderful he’s going to do, how proud you are of him. He tucks his face into your neck, seeing comfort from your words and touch. He starts nodding and you know that he’s listening, absorbing what you’re saying and gaining a burst of confidence.

He steps back and then there are once again lips against yours. This time they’re Sarah’s and they press gently against yours in a series of soft, chaste kisses. You give her a similar pep talk and then she pulls away.

Everyone takes a collective deep breath and Mitch unlocks the door. You make sure your hair is okay and you and Sarah check each other’s lipstick.

A minute later there’s a knock on the door, and the same guy from before, that you’ve now learned is Pete, stands on the other side. You give Mitch and Sarah each a quick friendly hug and follow him out to join the audience.

Once you walk outside, you’re met with an insane sight that takes your breath away. A sea of thousands of people full of excited energy. You’ve already been given a Johnny’s Place wristband and will mix in with the crowd there when Harry goes on, but you’re led to a spot close to the stage for Mitch’s set. You also have a special badge that will allow you backstage again throughout the day.

You’re looking around at the crowd when you start to hear loud cheering. You quickly turn back to the stage to see them walking out. Mitch’s face isn’t giving away much of what he’s feeling, but you know him well enough to see a slight bit of nerves. He grabs the first guitar he needs and scans the crowd. In no time at all his eyes meet yours, and you smile. His lips twitch ever so slightly and while he doesn’t smile back you see him visibly relax.

You love every second of watching him and Sarah. They do an amazing job and Mitch’s voice feels like home to you. The second he walks off stage you start to move.  Earlier in the day they had asked you to meet them back in their dressing room after the set, and that is exactly where you are headed.

The door is open, so you walk in to wait for them. It’s a few minutes later when they swiftly enter the room. Sarah closes and locks the door as Mitch runs over to you, picking you up and spinning you around before placing you back in front of him and crushing his lips to yours. You gasp and feel his tongue pressing against yours.

The kiss is over as quickly as it began, knowing you all will only have a minute or two of privacy before people come looking to congratulate Mitch.

You press your forehead against his, whispering, “You did amazing. I am so, so proud of you.” A huge smiles spreads across his face, and Sarah comes over to wrap an arm around each of you for a moment. You both turn to kiss her, then take another minute to bask in this wonderful moment together before breaking apart and opening the door.

It doesn’t take long for others to start filing in and out. You hang in the back, proudly watching as Mitch receives all the well-deserved praise.

After a while it quiets down, people heading back outside to watch the other opening acts. You peek out and watch a little bit of Annie Mac and Inhaler, but mostly want to stay close to Mitch and Sarah as much as you can.

Pete comes back partway through Wet Leg’s set to escort you to your spot for the show. You mix into the Jonny’s Place crowd and find a spot towards the side about halfway back. It may not be front and center, but you can tell you’ll be able to see Mitch and Sarah fairly well, plus you’re right next to the catwalk you know Sarah will walk down for Matilda.

You enjoy the rest of Wet Leg’s performance and spend the break watching the fans around you, feeling every bit as excited as them, until finally you’re all singing the end of Bohemian Rhapsody. The crowd is buzzing with energy and the cheering increases as the band takes the stage and the intro starts.

You’ve already made eye contact with both Mitch and Sarah, and you have a good feeling people are going to share the clip of the slight smile Mitch gives when he sees you.

Harry makes his entrance and you’re screaming with everyone else, before singing along to Daydreaming. After the first few songs Harry takes a moment to shout out the openers and you cheer especially loudly for Mitch.

You continue to enjoy the show, watching Mitch with laser focus during She, continually amazed by his skill and talent. As soon as the song ends you expect to see Sarah walk to join Harry, Madi, and Elin at the B stage but then Harry says, “We haven’t played this one in a little while so bear with me,” and you, along with everyone else, start to freak out about what song they’re going to do.

The first notes to Little Freak start to play and everyone screams before starting to sing too early, and you laugh remembering the same thing happened at the show you attended months ago. While everyone has turned around to watch Harry, you keep your eyes on the main stage, loving the calmness Mitch and Sarah exude as they play this slower, more gentle song.

After it’s over Sarah walks past, glancing at you quickly with a smirk. Mitch starts the into to Matilda and you take in the moment around you. The setting sun makes for a beautiful background, and you can’t help but be enamored by Sarah. Her gentle sway, her hands clasped behind her back, and her voice coming through as a perfect harmony to the others.

You’ve listened to this song plenty of times before, even heard it live, but it’s hitting differently now. The words “you can start a family” bring tears to your eyes as you realize that’s what you’ve done in the past months with Mitch and Sarah. They’ve accepted you fully into their relationship, and you’ve joined their family.

By the end of the song, you’re smiling and crying. Sarah gives you a genuinely warm smile as she walks back to the main stage, and you know that she understands just what you’re feeling at that moment.

It takes a minute for you to compose yourself but once Harry gets to the Satellite Stomps you’ve wiped away your tears and are focused back on Sarah; you can watch the stomps at another show.

You continue to have the time of your life, singing and dancing along to the music. Hearing Fine Line live is as magical as you thought it would be and you feel like you could continue to live in that moment forever. Harry gives a wonderful performance, and the instrumental at the end is perfection.

They take their short break before coming back and doing the last 4 songs of the night. You scream as you hear Sarah hit the drumsticks and Mitch starts the iconic intro to Medicine. Once Kiwi begins you start looking everywhere at once, trying to watch every extremely talented member of this band during the final song of the night.

The next thing you know Harry’s doing his signature whale move and the show comes to an end. You quickly make your way through the crowd, showing your badge to get backstage again. After following voices, you turn a corner and see the band walking in front of you towards the dressing rooms.

“You guys better meet us back here to hang out while we wait!” Pauli shouts as Mitch and Sarah break off to the other room. You slide in the room behind the couple and close the door before pulling them in for a group hug.

“That was amazing! Thank you so much for bringing me here!”  

“We’re so happy that you’re here with us, baby,” Mitch says, squeezing tighter as Sarah nods her head that’s resting on your neck.

After a minute you all break apart and they change out of their concert outfits.

“C’mon, we’d better join the others,” Sarah says and the three of you make your way back down the hall to where the rest of the band is hanging out.

“Welcome!” Ariza shouts. “Congrats everyone on another epic show! Sarah, Mitch, Y/N, drinks are over there. We’ve got some time to kill so might as well keep the party going!”

You all grab a drink and the next thing you know, you’re in the middle of a post-concert party with the love band. It’s nothing crazy, and you enjoy the opportunity to sit and chat with Madi, the newest band member. You learn she was also born in Connecticut but had moved to Pennsylvania very early and grew up there. You’re familiar with the area she was raised in, having visited there with your family on multiple occasions as a child and you two talk about places that you’ve both been.

After a little while Pauli and Yaffra join your group, and you find yourself listening to their conversation while not adding much. Suddenly the fatigue starts to hit, and you realize that aside from the short nap you had on the plane, you’d been up for nearly 36 hours straight. Your eyelids start to grow heavy as you lean against the arm of the couch. You’re fighting to keep your eyes open and look over to Sarah. She immediately notices how sleepy you are and comes over to sit next to you on the arm and rests a hand lightly on your shoulder.

She leans down and quietly says, “Shouldn’t be much longer and we’ll be heading out, okay love?” You nod, and she starts to run her fingers through your hair, which does nothing to help you stay awake but is incredibly comforting. You’re grateful that Sarah is known to be a rather affectionate person, and you relax into the touch knowing that no one is going to question how close you two are.

You’ve nearly fallen asleep with your head resting against her side when a crew member comes in to bring everyone to the vans. The crowds of fans have finally cleared the roads and almost all of the buses have left.

Once you get to the van you climb into the backseat followed by Sarah then Mitch. Elin and Ariza sit in the middle row, and you all start your journey.

The drive back to the hotel isn’t very long, but at this point you’re absolutely exhausted and it’s only a minute before you’re asleep with your head on Sarah’s shoulder. She wakes you when you arrive at the hotel and keeps a firm arm around your waist all the way back to your room, seeing that you’re barely awake.

You hand her your key, too tired to get it to work, and she walks into your room with you while Mitch goes next door. Luckily you have adjoining rooms, and he opens the connecting door on their side while Sarah does the same on your side, so they can sneak you into their room with no one seeing.

Sarah helps you get changed, brush your teeth, and remove your make up before leading you to their bed where Mitch is already laying down. You curl up to him and pass out immediately.

You wake up the next morning with a person on either side of you. It’s familiar but also foreign after sleeping alone for over a month. You tuck yourself further into the neck of the person you’re facing, and the feeling of scruff against your cheek informs you that it’s Mitch.

Sarah presses closer to you from behind and you feel her start to kiss your throat as Mitch’s hands travel up and down your body. You may have been too tired for anything the previous night, but now you feel well rested, completely alert, and you don’t want to waste another minute before finally reconnecting.

You lift your head up and without even opening your eyes you start to kiss Mitch’s neck, moving up to blindly search for his lips. Once you hit your target you let out a sigh at the feeling of sharing this intimate kiss with him.

It starts slow and lazy, tongues casually sliding against each other. After a couple of minutes, you break apart and you turn to Sarah. You throw a leg between hers and lay on top of her. She pulls you in and you’re lost in making out with her, grinding down to bring pleasure to both of you.

She starts lifting your shirt off and the three of you remove your pajamas, glad you all slept in the bare minimum of clothes the night before. You climb back on top of her before trailing kisses down her body. Once you reach her center you swipe your tongue across the intimate area, and the sounds you pull from her is music to your ears.

As you add a finger to the mix, you feel Mitch stand at the end of the bed. He pulls up your hips so he can line up himself behind you. His hard length slides through your folds and your eyes roll back in your head at that contact alone.

“Are you sure you want to go bare?” Mitch asks, referring to a conversation you all had had over the phone a few weeks ago. Right after they left for tour you had a doctor’s appointment and went on birth control and were excited to finally feel Mitch without a barrier.

“Yes, yes, please, I want to feel you,” you reply. Mitch doesn’t hesitate another moment and slides into you in one slow thrust. When you feel him bottom out, you’re overwhelmed and pull back from Sarah for a moment. You rest your head against her thigh and take a few deep breaths. She gently pets your hair as Mitch runs his hands along your back. The combination of sensual and sweet at the same time nearly short circuits your brain.

After a moment you regain your composure and bring your mouth back to Sarah’s core and start moving your fingers again. The room is filled with the sounds of everyone’s pleasure, and it feels so right that the three of you are finally able to reconnect in this way and bring everyone to this state of pure bliss.

You know when Sarah is getting close and focus on helping her cross that finish line. You slide your free hand along her torso, hoping to ease her down after her intense high.

You’re so focused on Sarah it takes a moment to realize that Mitch has stopped moving. He pulls out and you whine at the loss.

“I just want to see you,” Mitch says as he gently manhandles you onto your back then slides inside you again. It only takes another minute before you feel the familiar pressure building, and you come, your nails scratching along Mitch’s back at the overwhelming pleasure.

After another few sloppy thrusts, Mitch is finishing inside of you and you think that you could black out at the feeling of him coming without a condom. You pull him in for a sloppy kiss as you both come down. He stays inside of you for a few minutes, having figured out early on that the continued connection after sex is something you crave.

Finally he pulls out and as always, gets up to grab cloths to clean everyone. Before he can get back Sarah is on top of you, sliding one leg in between yours. She leans down to kiss you, and after a minute you feel her start to grind against your leg. You shift until her leg is against your core as well, and the two of you work up a rhythm.

Mitch watches as you both come again at the same time, your open mouth kisses turning into practically panting into each other’s mouth.

After you’ve both caught your breath, Mitch helps you both clean up. You whine as the cloth touches your now hypersensitive core and you hear him murmur apologies.

Once you and Sarah are clean Mitch lays down next to you both, wrapping his arms around you and pressing light kisses to your heads.

You almost fall back asleep when Mitch asks, “What do you think about being a typical tourist in Ireland for the afternoon?” Your eyes light up and you nod vigorously.

“I think that sounds perfect!”

The three of you get up and move into the shower together. You all eat room service while getting ready and shortly before you plan to leave there’s a knock on the door.

Mitch goes over to answer and a minute later walks back in with Harry following behind.

“Good morning girls,” Harry says.

“Hey Harry!” you reply.

“What are you guys up to today?” he asks.

“We’re gonna head into Dublin for a few hours. Y/N’s never been so we want to walk around and explore a bit,” Sarah answers.

“That sounds fun!” he answers, looking between the three of you.

“You’re welcome to join us if you’d like,” Mitch adds. He’s known Harry long enough to tell that he was hoping for an invitation, though he’s not entirely sure why. It’s rare that Harry chooses to head into big cities when he’s touring, knowing the high likelihood of being stopped by fans.

“I mean, if you all don’t mind, I’d love too,” he replies.

You all head out and enjoy a wonderful afternoon sightseeing. Harry does get stopped a handful of times, but the fans are all lovely and polite. The last activity of the day is the Guinness Storehouse for a tour and dinner; after all the plan was to be a typical tourist in Dublin.

Harry sits next to you on the ride home and spends the trip asking you questions about yourself. You enjoy the conversation, but there’s a voice in the back of your mind that cannot believe this is reality, that you're just casually talking to Harry Styles.  

At the hotel Harry follows your trio up to your rooms, which you find curious since you know his room is on another floor. You all stand awkwardly in the hallway for a moment before Harry say, “Well, guess I should be heading back. It was lovely getting to know you more today, Y/N.” He leans in to give you a hug, which you don’t expect and you lift your arms somewhat ungracefully in return.

“Good-night everyone, see you all bright and early tomorrow,” he says as he waves and walks away.

You walk into your room while Mitch and Sarah walk into theirs. You immediately get changed into pajamas and do your bedtime routine. You walk back into the other room and sit on the bed, turning on the TV to wait while the others finish getting ready.

Mitch is the first to join you and the first words out of his mouth shock you. “I think Harry has a crush on you.”

While seconds ago you were verging on sleep, you’re suddenly wide awake. “What?” you ask, sitting up to stare at him, eyes practically bugging out of your head at what you view as an absurd statement. “Why in the world would you think that?”

“I’ve known Harry for years, I’ve seen how he is. He was definitely watching you today.”

“Okay, so say you’re right. What do I do if he tries to like, act on that crush? How do I turn him down without telling him about the three of us?”

At this point Sarah has joined the two of you on the bed and says, “What do you guys think about just telling him the truth?”

You turn to Mitch to get his response before sharing your own. “Well,” he starts. “I trust Harry. He’s my best friend. Honestly, I kind of want to tell him the truth soon no matter what. It feels weird keeping something this big from him.”

You nod as you listen to him, and pause for a moment before answering, “You know him best. If you trust him then I have no reason not to. I’m fine with him learning about us.”

Mitch grabs your hand and you both turn to Sarah who says, “I think we should tell him. Hopefully there’ll be a time this week we can all get together again and explain the story.”

Everyone feels a sense of happiness at the thought of finally letting someone in on the secret. The three of you have a wonderful relationship, but there’s something about someone on the outside knowing that makes it feel more real somehow.

You all cuddle under the covers, Mitch and Sarah wrapping their arms around you. It’s your favorite place to be, and you quickly fall asleep.

It’s an early morning the next day in order to get to the airport for the quick flight to London. You sit in the window seat with Sarah and Mitch next to you, and despite how early in the day it is you find yourself filled with excited energy. It’s only been a couple days since your trip away from home started and you’ve already had so much fun with your two favorite people. You cannot wait to see what the rest of the trip brings.

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AN: Thanks you so much for reading this chapter! I hope you're enjoying it and would love to know what everyone's thinking so far!

Taglist: @akkatz @pandeebearstyles @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @theekyliepage @numafarawayglxy @booberry019-blog @hillzrry @ssareidbby @gem1712 @acesofspadess @houseofdilfs @shaquille-0atmeal-1 @kissitnhekitchen

[thecrimecrypt]

Crimes That Shook Britain (Wales)

Murder of Rebecca Aylward On 25 October 2010, Rebecca Aylward, 15, awoke on 6am, did her make-up, put on new clothes. She was excited about meeting ex-boyfriend Joshua Davies, 16, hoping they'd rekindle their relationship.

But Davies hated Rebecca. With mates he met on Sundays for breakfast, he'd discussed ways to kill her - poisoning, drowning, pushing her off a cliff.

In the end, that rainy morning, Davies lured her to secluded woods near Aberkenfig, Bridgend, and hit her over the head with a rock. Rebecca's distraught family reported her missing and her body was found the next day.

And Joshua Davies was arrested. His murder trial heard he'd killed Rebecca over a bet for a free breakfast. A mate had said he'd buy him a 'Full English' if he carried out his threats. Davies was convicted, jailed for life to serve a minimum term of 14 years in prison.

In 2018, Davies finally admitted to the murder to prison officers.

Murder of Karen Price In 1989, workmen found a rolled-up carpet while digging up a garden in Cardiff's Riverside area. Inside were the remains of a girl. Forensic experts made a clay reconstruction of the girl's head, identifying her as Karen Price, 15, who'd disappeared from a children's home in July 1981.

Back then, the basement flat where her body had been found was occupied by Alan Charlton. In 1991, Charlton and another man, Idris Ali - accused of being Karen's pimp - were convicted of her murder.

The trial heard that Charlton had killed Karen when she refused to perform sex acts, while Ali helped bury her body. In 1994, Ali successfully appealed, pleaded guilty to manslaughter at his retrial, and was freed. Charlton has made several appeals against his conviction. All have been dismissed and he remains in jail.

Ian Watkins In December 2012, Ian Watkins - lead singer of award-winning band Lostprophets, with 3.5m album sales worldwide - was arrested on charges of child abuse.

As the case unfolded, horrifying details emerged Watkins seduced female fans he met online and manipulated them until they allowed him to use their children to fulfil his depraved sex fantasies.

In November 2013, Watkins was jailed for 35 years after admitting a string of child sex offenses, including attempted rape of a baby and sexually abusing children His two co-defendants - the two mothers of children he abused - were jailed for 14 and 17 years. The judge Mr Justice Royce, said the case 'plunged into new depths of depravity.'

Murder of April Jones April Jones, just 5 years old, disappeared on 1 October 2012, while playing on her bike near her home in Machynlleth, Wales.

April's friend said she'd willingly got into a car with a man. Her hysterical parents Coral and Paul called the police, sparking the largest search in UK policing history. Within hours, media appeals were made and April's photo hit global news.

Police set up roadblocks, hundreds of volunteers searched and, the next evening, local Mark Bridger, 46, was arrested. The desperate search for April continued. After five days, Bridger was charged with April's abduction and murder. Her body was never found.

At Bridger's April 2013 trial, it emerged that tiny burnt bone pieces were found in his fireplace, and that blood in his cottage living room matched April's DNA. Bridger was convicted of abducting and murdering April and jailed for life.

Murder of Ffion Wyn Roberts Ffion Wyn Roberts' body was found in a drainage ditch behind her Porthmadog home in April 2010. She'd last been seen alive enjoying a night out with family and friends.

Detectives launched a massive murder hunt and, eight weeks later, arrested local lestyn Davies at his workplace, a wool factory close to Ffion's home. Davies was known to Ffion's family.

Davies' murder trial heard he'd attacked Ffion, 22, as she made her way home. He'd beaten her, strangled her with her own scarf and left the care worker to drown in the ditch. DNA traces were found on the scarf and Davies was captured on CCTV in the area at the time she was killed. He was found guilty, jailed for life, with a minimum 25-year term.

John Cooper In December 1985, farmer Richard Thomas, 58, and his sister Helen, 56, were shot dead, and their home near Milford Haven set alight. In June 1989, couple Peter and Gwenda Dixon, 51 and 52, were shot dead on a coastal path. They'd been tied up and robber, Gwenda sexually assaulted.

Then, in March 1996, five Milford Haven teens were held at gunpoint. One girl, 16, was raped at knifepoint, another, 15, indecently assaulted. Police long suspected a local convicted burglar, John Cooper, who was finally charged in 2011 on a review of DNA evidence.

Convicted of four murders, five attempted robberies, rape and indecent assault, he was given a whole-life sentence. An appeal against the conviction was rejected in 2012.

[funnygirlszine]

UK Comedy Clubs & Nights

We're so lucky to have such a rich comedy culture in Britain, with iconic permanent clubs as well as regular nights, events, and festivals.

Building on a couple of suggestions included in Issue #1, here's a list of some big players across the country! London will get its own post!

Manchester

Frog and Bucket

Creatures of the Night Comedy Club

The Comedy Store at The Bierkeller

XS Malarkey

Hootch Comedy Club

The Laughienda

Liverpool

Hot Water

Dead Funny Comedy Night @ Outpost

Baltic Market monthly

Comedy Takeover at Liverpool Irish Centre

Newcastle

The Stand Newcastle

The Craic Factory

Funhouse @ The Rigger

Glasgow

Laugh In The Park Festival

Club 45 @ Blackfriars

The Stand Glasgow

The Comedy Cabaret

The Glee Club

Glasgow International Comedy Festival

The Drygate Comedy Lab

Bristol

The Comedy Cabaret @ Pryzm

Bristol Comedy Garden

Comedy @ The Lazy Dog

White Bear Comedy @ The Room Above

Comedy @ The Square

Smoke & Mirrors Comedy & Magic

Cardiff

The Glee Club

Moonday's Comedy Night @ The Moon

Rebel Rebel Comedy Night @ Tiny Rebel Pub

Dolly Chicken @ The Flute & Tankard

Edinburgh

The Edinburgh Fringe

Monkey Barrel

The Stand Edinburgh

Comedy @ The Canon's Gait

Hoots Comedy @ Hootenannies

Cracking New Jokes Show @ Dragonfly

Birmingham

Just the Tonic @ Rosies

Closeup Comedy @ Hockley Social Club

The Glee Club

Big Deal Comedy @ The Old Joint Stock

Leeds

Kirkstall Abbey Comedy Festival

The Comedy Club @ HiFi

The Wardrobe

Really Funny Comedy

The Comedy Cabaret

Nottingham

Just the Tonic @ Metronome

NCF @ Canalhouse Bar

West Bridgford Comedy Club

Comedy in the Caves

Brighton

Brighton Comedy Garden

Secret Comedy Club

Komedia

The Gag Factory

The Forge Comedy Club

Live at Brighton Dome

Belfast

Ulster Hall

Lavery's Comedy Club

The Empire Laughs Back @ Empire Music Hall

Queen's Comedy

Waterfront Hall

Other notable mentions

Comedy Cow, Milton Keynes

The Red Card Comedy Club, Norwich

Jericho Comedy, Oxford

The Leadmill, Sheffield

Open Comedy, Leith

Comedy Garden, St Albans & Cambridge

[chorusfm]

Weezer Announce Blue Album Tour

Weezer have announced a 30th anniversary tour. 03/15 – Los Angeles, CA @ Lodge Room * 05/04 – Atlanta, GA @ Shaky Knees Festival 05/11 – San Diego, CA @ Wonderfront Festival 06/07 – Birmingham, UK @ Utilita Arena ^ 06/08 – London, UK @ The O2 ^ 06/10 – Dublin, IE @ 3Arena ^ 06/12 – Glasgow, UK @ OVO Hydro ^ 06/13 – Manchester, UK @ Co-op Live ^ 06/14 – Cardiff, UK @ Castle ^ 09/04 – Saint Paul, MN @ Xcel Energy Center # 09/06 – Rosemont, IL @ Allstate Arena # 09/07 – Columbus, OH @ Nationwide Arena # 09/08 – Toronto, ON @ Scotiabank Arena # 09/10 – Boston, MA @ TD Garden # 09/11 – New York, NY @ Madison Square Garden # 09/13 – Philadelphia, PA @ Wells Fargo Center # 09/14 – Washington, DC @ The Anthem # 09/17 – Nashville, TN @ Bridgestone Arena # 09/18 – Greenville, SC @ Bon Secours Wellness Arena # 09/20 – Orlando, FL @ Kia Center # 09/21 – Hollywood, FL @ Hard Rock Live at Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Hollywood # 09/27 – Austin, TX @ Moody Center # 09/28 – Houston, TX @ Toyota Center # 09/29 – Dallas, TX @ American Airlines Center # 10/01 – Loveland, CO @ Blue FCU Arena # 10/04 – Seattle, WA @ Climate Pledge Arena # 10/05 – Vancouver, BC @ Rogers Arena # 10/06 – Portland, OR @ Moda Center # 10/08 – Sacramento, CA @ Golden 1 Center # 10/09 – San Francisco, CA @ Chase Center # 10/11 – Inglewood, CA @ Intuit Dome # * = w/ Dogstar ^ = w/ The Smashing Pumpkins and Teen Mortgage # = w/ The Flaming Lips and Dinosaur Jr. --- Please consider becoming a member so we can keep bringing you stories like this one. ◎ https://chorus.fm/news/weezer-announce-blue-album-tour/

[esen-enjie]

100 things I want to do in 2024

Make one recipe out of the hobonichi

Go bird-watching alone

Go to the cinema alone

Sleep nude

Watch a play with JL

Babysit

Draw 5 things with watercolor pencils

Make one piece of abstract art

Go to a jazz night

Dedicate myself to wearing one bracelet all the time

Make omurice

Go to Tate Modern

Go to church in London

Not speak for one day

Do a round of sun salutations

Send my best friend a card

Send my other best friend a card

Make a poster

Go to one dance class

Lie down in a park alone

Lie down in a park with JL

Go to Hyde park alone solely to take photos of the birds

Go to the British museum alone

Make 100 paper stars

Use tabo in the UK

Go to Primark alone

Eat in a restaurant alone (not a cafe, a restaurant!)

Go to karaoke with friends

Go one week without calling anyone

Call someone every day for a week

Ditch chocolate for a week

Sing every day for a week

Dance in my dorm room

Buy myself a necklace

Spend one day cooking all my meals for the week

Do a 30 min stretch

Don't open twitter for a whole day

Buy something with a fish on it

Visit F in Cardiff

Draw 10 fish

Eat rice every day for a week

Put £500 in savings

Dye my hair without telling anyone (But I suppose I've told you, dear reader, oops!)

Attend a concert with a friend

Draw a shrimp

Buy myself a cake

Buy flowers for myself

Go out with a friend every day of the week

Take a random bus and sightsee on it

Choose a random station to take the train to

Do laundry and throw out the trash and clean the dorm in one day

Cut my hair by myself

Go to the aquarium with TL

Wear emo makeup+clothes for a day

Meditate everyday for a week

Don't listen to music for a whole day

Go to a zoo/petting zoo on my own

Embroider socks

Run the length of a big park

Go swimming

Pick a flower

Destroy something beyond repair

Drink a mountain dew

Read at a poetry open mic

Sleep on the floor

Do the ice bucket challenge

Go to a paint shop (that has paint chips) and find my favorite colors

Go to IKEA with JL

Read a book for leisure

Hold hands platonically with a friend

Wear a fancy dress nowhere

Pick up "too good to go" food

Eat shaved ice

Buy new slippers

Watch a movie with a friend at home

Buy a new perfume

Take photos of myself in my favourite outfits

Stop wearing lipstick for a week

Have a personal spa day at home

Learn to sing 'Mai Lohilohi Mai Oe'

Go to the club sober

Try a virgin drink

Go to gameboard night

Try African food

Attend the tasters of 5 different societies

Be a street poet for a day

Go fishing

Go to a botanical garden (alone first, then with a friend)

Make a jello cake

Make an elaborate dish with MX

Visit a pond

Paint/draw something from life

Watch a play alone

Redecorate my dorm

Use the umbrella when there's no reason to

Get a proper manicure

Eat breakfast in the park

Buy, prepare, and eat a pomegranate

Wear earrings everyday for a week

Buy and eat a box of tangerines

[sociologyonthemove]

A Stroll Through Cardiff’s Most Affluent Neighbourhood by Finn Prendergast

It’s a cloudy Saturday afternoon in April, but according to the forecast it should be raining by now. I’m taking no chances and have come equipped with an umbrella. Leaving the train, I emerge into a car park and my walk begins. To my surprise, there are no barriers or wardens to check my ticket. There is also a distinct lack of the usual “don’t get caught red handed” posters which tend to adorn the train stations of more bustling metropolitan areas, dissuading the rabble from the pettiest of crimes – fare-dodging. I am particularly sore about this because I once received a “notice of incident” and warning of prosecution for forgetting my railcard on a five-minute train journey. The train station is being renovated and, to the chagrin of Whitchurch residents, has been for the past three years. Transport for Wales promises to deliver free Wi-Fi, a new weather shelter, and of course, more CCTV (Evans, 2023). 

I orientate myself briefly, and it does not take long before I remember my route. I have sketched it out in my head from revising Google maps; my only prior experience of this neighbourhood beyond a WalesOnline article (Ahmed, 2023). Maps, at least those provided by Google, do not usually account for verticality. Although verticality is a factor usually associated with more urban landscapes (Jackson et al., 2021), it nonetheless plays an important role in this neighbourhood which sits on a hill above the other streets. The first part of my journey will see me ascend to this neighbourhood that I can just see posturing itself over a thick brush of green; hidden for the most-part, but nonetheless asserting itself over the houses below. The first hint of a millionaire’s row. I make my way up the stairs of the overpass, running my hands across a well-held handrail which reveals galvanised iron beneath a layer of flaky clover-green paint. This walkway lacks the usual trappings of railway overpasses: discarded cigarette packets and puddles of strange liquid which hurry you along the bridge. I wonder whether these bits of urban debris ever find themselves in Llandaf, or perhaps they’re just cleaned away the moment they’re spotted. 

I emerge onto a street called The Parade which runs parallel to the Llandaff line, the only source of intrusive noise for the street. Currently, the street is silent apart from my footsteps. The left side of this street looks down onto the neighbourhoods below. I walk across the road to the pavement with a line of houses so that I can get a better look. I am greeted by a dense strip of hedge, obscuring my vision of the homes. My inspections are limited to the regular driveways in the well-pruned fortifications revealing expensive cars and equally expensive gardens. Several houses have scaffolding outside, no doubt in a bid to continue the spectacular rise in house prices this neighbourhood has seen. The latest sale on this street was for £1,425,000 in 2022, an increase from £550,000 in 2005.

I only get glances at these houses, however. As much as I’d like to spend longer admiring each one, the security system notices, and panoramic bay windows seem to convey that I may look but not stare. Indeed, as far as I can tell, I’m the only one on this street so I opt to keep moving. My pace is slow and thoughtful and as my view of each house is obstructed by hedge or wall, only the house turrets remain – sentries watching over the street below. These towers would not look out of place in a fairy-tale; the wizards’ quarters of a king’s keep. Their pointed roofs and weathervanes stand proud above the crenelations of red-brick ramparts. I imagine these rooms are actually filled with the studies of hybrid workers – wizards in their own right. Nonetheless, I feel watched, in the same way that a suspect in an interrogation room can't see through the one-way window. The crime… loitering. 

As I continue down The Parade, the street remains desolate apart from a few cars which spill out onto the street from private driveways. For some reason, I expected the parking situation to be the same as Cathays: masses of student cars which indiscriminately drift up against pavements whether they’re double-yellow or not, creating a nightmare for pedestrians and residents. All of this is absent from The Parade, making me wish I brought my girlfriend’s car with me instead of paying the train fare. The pavements are also empty. Beyond the odd cigarette butt, there is a pronounced lack of litter. No gum embedded in the asphalt, no hints of the previous Friday night’s revelries. The beeline of alcohol that leads swarms of students into the city centre every weekend does not extend this far. And though the air here is still and tepid, it smells fresh. I’m not met with the sickly scents of hangover I associate with residential Cardiff. The discarded cider that stews on the street – mementos of the night before. The residents of The Parade will be met with no such guilt. I can’t hear the chatter between students walking to lectures, or the honks and revs of cars with modified exhausts. Instead, I hear birdsong broken up by the occasional passing train.

Approaching Kingsland Road on my right, another unapologetically aristocratic street name, I notice the first signs of life – a woman and young child packing a pushchair into an electric SUV. I suddenly become even more aware of myself. I must look very suspicious with my cap, large backpack, and wandering eyes that flit with intent between houses and my notes app. I note my obvious lack of familiarity with the street; the way my head pivots sporadically when crossing the road, as it does in the busy urban centres of Cardiff. If I was a resident, I’d probably be wary of myself. My pace quickens slightly to cross Kingsland Road, and as I pass, I hear the woman speaking in Welsh to the child. I can only make out the word “peidiwch” which means “don’t”. 

As I continue down (or up) The Parade, the street bends to the right, creating a levee of houses between this street and the noisy railway. As it bends, the steel palisade fencing ends and an even taller red-brick wall begins. In its foreground, a lightly graffitied street sign lets me know that I have entered Westbourne Crescent – Cardiff’s most expensive street. Next to it, drilled into the wall, a sign warning me that “THIS IS A NEIGHBOURHOOD WATCH AREA”. Of course, I take a photo of this before continuing. Before I walk Westbourne Crescent, I turn around and see the two people from earlier stood in the road facing me. I am smacked in the face with the hammer of reflexivity which spurs me out of sight down Westbourne Crescent. It’s difficult to tell whether the unease I feel is because of the street, or because I now know how suspicious I look. Would I feel as uncomfortable if this was a normal walk? I decide I will assess this when I walk back through the street to catch my train, this time without the eyes of a researcher or my phone camera. 

Westbourne Crescent is similar to The Parade so far, however, what becomes apparent is the frequency of neighbourhood watch signs has increased, contributing to the “securityscape” (Atkinson, 2020, p.144). I’m not surprised by this; one of the commenters on the WalesOnline article was upset with the attention drawn to their street, fearing that it might attract burglars. I imagine he would be equally upset with a nosy sociology student snooping around. The evidence points towards this being a very reserved neighbourhood, especially now as I walk along Westbourne Crescent, where frontages seem to have sunk slightly deeper behind walled gardens. I notice a house with a Welsh name, and think back to the Welsh I overheard earlier. I’ve heard that in some parts of Cardiff, speaking Welsh is worn as a symbol of prestige. However, where I come from in North Wales, it is more taken for granted and Welsh acquiesces into ‘Wenglish’. Here, proper Welsh is honed and displayed loudly, mutations and all. It seems ironic having these displays of Welshness on streets named Westbourne Crescent and The Parade. I think that perhaps the middle classes have a penchant for ancient languages that aren’t widely spoken like Welsh and Latin – they denote membership to an exclusive club of speakers.  

The eerie silence and stillness of the street invokes a sense of suspense which hastens me along. Knowles (2022) describes how her final walk through the Surrey Suburb of Virginia Water was curbed by the heavily securitised, hostile atmosphere of one of its private streets. Westbourne Crescent has a similar effect: all but the law is levied against the wandering public in an effort to deter them from exercising their right to roam. Households also seem to grate against one another. A semi-detached house across the street boasts a navy-blue wooden balcony and another turret with a panopticon view. The house is joined reluctantly to its neighbour, with a barely-distinct shade of light grey so that everyone knows they are separate houses, albeit with matching tastes. The next few houses along the right of the street seem ordinary in comparison to the houses on the left and those of The Parade. Exposed brick façades yield to pebbledash which seems to bubble up under coatings of white paint. The garden walls sit lower or have been replaced entirely by decorative metal fencing which let me see into the garden. One reveals what looks like an automatic lawnmower. Maybe not exactly what you’d call phantasmagoric (See Knowles, 2017), but I’m impressed! 

The real jewel of the street, however, sits just further along, where Westbourne Crescent splits into Westbourne Road at a roundabout. All the medieval metaphors up to this point crescendo in this final house; a veritable faux-Tudor fortress. All I can see of this house beyond the walls is its top half. Twin gables where dark wooden beams jut out of the white plaster. Protruding from the brown slate roof, three chimneys. And that’s all I can see of it. The wall, which is the highest so far, doesn’t let me see anything else. I try to get a better look as I continue to walk, but the wall wraps around the periphery of the house. The only entrance are two black doors in the wall which are bolted shut. There is no chance of me getting a look at the secrets behind them. According to Simmel (1906, cited in Harrington, 2021), wealth needs secrecy to survive. Exposed wealth can be scrutinised by the public, leading to indignation and calls for accountability. As such, wealth is hidden in VIP clubs, on offshore accounts, and behind tall walls. Knowles (2022) notes how wealthy neighbourhoods are characterised by anxiety. They are rife with physical and legal barriers which instil a sense of exclusion in the public, such that strolling becomes trespassing. Safe from prying eyes, the wealthy may exist comfortably, albeit anxiously, protected from those who might not think their wealth is entirely meritocratic. 

The final house on this street is a sharp contrast to the previous. Only slightly visible over the wall that has continued from the last property, this modernist house resembles an arrangement of black shipping containers. The wall is interrupted by a black gate with a home alarm system installed into the wall next to it. To my right, the road branches off into another street with a resident’s sign reading Rushbrook in a gothic font. Down this street is an even tighter cove of walls, trees, and electric cars. Not at all inviting – a walk for another day. The street narrows to a close, and I reach a path which leads me down to the modestly named Ty-Mawr Road, where my walk ends. My return trip back to the train station confirms my suspicions, my unease was not just because of my photographing and notetaking. Surveying the street a second time does not make me appear any less suspicious, and anxiety still seems to seep from the walls of the wealthy and washes me home in its tide. I’m sure this evening my photo will appear on some Westbourne Watch Facebook page with the caption “BEWARE”. 

Methodological Note

Walking as a method allows researchers to apply the sociological imagination (Mills, 1959) to the everyday, often mundane, settings and spaces that we dwell in (Rhys-Taylor, 2013). By using our senses on walks through these spaces, we can better understand the social structures that penetrate and dictate everyday life. This allows researchers to delve into the phenomena they are examining, “decipher these clues, or perhaps note their absences, as well as show their significance." (Bates and Rhys-Taylor, 2017, p.5). Walking also allows us to see how space can create and recreate inequalities. It allows the researcher to see "how power functions through the erection of physical, symbolic and sensory exclusions" (Jackson et al., 2021, p.1). Materially, this may refer to how mobility is restricted physically by stairs and corridors. In the abstract, exclusion might be manufactured by security cameras, legal notices, or walls. My walk focussed largely on the latter to consider how ostensibly public spaces can imbue emotions like anxiety and unease and to understand the friction created between urban wandering and the organisation of wealthy neighbourhoods. Can one be a flâneur in these neighbourhoods? I don’t think so. 

The aim of my walk was to explore how middle-classness manifests and is experienced in Cardiff, a city I have lived in for four years. To do this, I drew attention to some of the sensory distinctions between the urban areas of the city that I’m used to and the middle-class streets I explored. I was focussed on the sounds, smells, and sights of the walk, and how they differ from the neighbourhoods I am used to. As a newcomer to this neighbourhood, these distinctions were emphasized. I tried to show these distinctions rather than tell what they meant. This method enabled me to take the reader along on the walk with me (Becker, 2007).

I also wanted to reflect on how my perceptions of this neighbourhood were shaped by my identity as a Welsh person and student. Furthermore, I considered how the observations from my walk aligned with or contested my existing assumptions about Cardiff, Welshness, and the middle classes. As such, I can say that I incorporated autoethnographic elements into this work (Ellis et al, 2011). This method allowed me to connect my personal experiences to wider social structures such as social class and nationality. Of course, this method raises questions of positionality and reflexivity; to what extent do my perceptions of the street reflect what I’m seeing? How much of what I see is shaped by my own experience? Nonetheless, I tried to draw boundaries between my own bias, often influenced by my sociological readings before the walk, and the sights as presented to me whilst I wandered.

References

Ahmed, R. 2023. The Cardiff Street where the average house price is more than £1 million, Available at: https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/homes-property/property-news/inconspicuous-cardiff-street-average-house-25881838 (Accessed: April 27, 2023).

Atkinson, R. 2021. Alpha city: How London was captured by the super-rich. London: Verso Books.

Bates, C. and Rhys-Taylor, A. 2017. Introduction: Finding Our Feet. In: Bates, C. and Rhys-Taylor, A. eds. Walking through social research. London: Routledge

Becker, H. 2007. Telling about society. Chicago: University of Chicago Press.

Ellis, C., Adams, T. and Bochner, A. 2011. Autoethnography: an overview. Historical social research 36(4), pp.273-290. Available at: http://www.jstor.org/stable/23032294

Evans, L. 2023. Work finally underway to revamp Cardiff station three years after plans started, Available at: https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/work-finally-underway-finish-cardiff-26632139 (Accessed: April 26, 2023).

Harrington, B. 2020. Secrecy, Simmel and the New Sociology of Wealth. Sociologica 15(2), pp. 143–152. doi: 10.6092/issn.1971-8853/13565.

Jackson, E., Benson, M. and Calafate-Faria, F., 2021. Multi-sensory ethnography and vertical urban transformation: Ascending the Peckham Skyline. Social & Cultural Geography, 22(4), pp.501-522. doi: 10.1080/14649365.2019.1597152

Knowles, C. 2022. Serious Money: Walking Plutocratic London. London: Penguin.

Knowles, C., 2017. Walking plutocratic London: exploring erotic, phantasmagoric Mayfair. Social Semiotics, 27(3), pp.299-309. doi: 10.1080/10350330.2017.1301795

Mills, C. 1959. The sociological imagination. New York: Oxford University Press

Simmel, G. 1906. The Sociology of Secrecy and Secret Societies. American Journal of Sociology, 11(4), 441–498. Available at: http://www.jstor.org/stable/2762562

[theoraclefish]

𝙍𝙞𝙛𝙩 𝙩𝙬𝙤: 𝙏𝙝𝙚 𝙖𝙘𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙣𝙤𝙧𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙞𝙩𝙮

A man named Boris sighed, an expression of annoyance visible. He tapped his keyboard keys with hurried movements. A few minutes later, he hears the ding-dong of an email and stares at his screen, the light reflecting off his brown eyes. He turns in his chair and stares out past the glass with a view of trees, plants, and a majestic dream.

Lyla walked, or more accurately, rushed past rooms filled with people and devices, towards a door labelled head researcher and walked inside the office with a curious expression. The man named Boris threw an object towards her and gestured towards the door, so she then left just as quickly as she had come with a brown document in hand, which she opened and stared at the black letters upon the white sheet.

"Hmm."

She was intrigued but knew that this mission was dangerous, so she grabbed herself a weapon, and to be more specific, a Glock 17. She left in a 1969 black Aston Martin DB6.

. 

She was heading to West Melbury, which is located in the county of Dorset, South West England, two miles south of the town of Shaftesbury, 20 miles north-west of the major town of Poole, 55 miles south-east of Cardiff, and 96 miles south-west of London. West Melbury lies roughly one mile southwest of the Wiltshire border. West Melbury falls within the unitary authority of Dorset. It is in the SP7 postcode district. The post town for West Melbury is Shaftesbury.

Once Lyla had arrived in the village of West Melbury, she would park her car in a place that would not be too conspicuous, though this village was small with a population of 300 or perhaps a little bigger, so the possibility that a crime would occur in such a peaceful place felt like it would be low.

Lyla left her car and began walking. This place mostly had detached houses occupied by usually one or two people, and any higher number than that was a rare sight. She walked past the homes and other historical buildings this area was known for. As she walked, she noticed some people walking with dead fish eyes and oily skin; others worked on their gardens with obsessive focus, though their plants seemed red in overall colour with a tangy, putrid odour that she could smell from a distance; and additionally, she walked past large slimey-like structures with odd shapes.

She walked through the village and slowly made her way out to the endless green fields. Grass and emptiness were the only things around. Soon she began to create more and more distance from the village, and this lasted a good while before she finally arrived. She saw what looked like a two-story, rather large, wooden structure standing in front of herself. She walked across the wooden base towards a red door and clicked a small white button beside the door.

Soon she heard a click sound, and the door slid open with a squelch, and half of a wrinkly white face pops out through the tiny space left by the door being moved.

"Hello? Can I help you?"

The voice of dry vocal cords emits, and Lyla gives a small smile with a cheery attitude and energy.

"Hi. Sorry for taking so long. I heard you needed some maintenance done at your home."

The door then opened entirely, and an old man with oily pale skin and dead fish eyes, dressed in a blue cardigan with brown trousers and shoes, and a hunched back, revealed himself.

"Ah. Yes. Please come in."

Lyla followed the man as he walked inside and guided her. In front of the door, which was now closed, was a staircase, and she turned right just as the man was entering a room with mixed red and yellow walls, numerous paintings, a couch, a table, and a TV, with a few other doors pressed against the walls. After a few moments of glancing around, Lyla would speak.

"So sir. What did you need help with?"

The man turned to Lyla and seemed to scan her, though he had a rather innocent smile on his face.

"My....tv seems to not work. I have no idea why it won't turn on. I've tried all I can to turn it on, but I cannot seem to get it to work."

He said this as his smile faded and tears swam down his cheeks. Lyla watched and felt generally disheartened by this sight; however, she could not rid herself of this strange feeling that she was being watched.

"I'll go get some biscuits whilst you work."

Just like that, the old man scuttled off through one of the doors and disappeared from the room.

Lyla took this moment of opportunity to have a closer look around the room. The walls felt spongy, like jam.

"Odd. Why does it feel so strange?"

The portraits around the room seem to showcase people in unusual positions, such as standing or sitting on furniture, and the same portraits seem to be of different kinds of bones. The couch was red in colour, and Lyla swore that she could feel a pounding whenever she touched it. The table was white in colour with four legs, and the TV, which was apparently broken, turned on immediately once Lyla found the power button.

"Huh. That was easy? Maybe he just got confused?"

A little more snooping led Lyla to one of the corners of the room, where there was a chair that she somehow missed when she entered the room. The chair was wooden and did not exactly stand out; however, feeling the chair was not meant to be here, Lyla moved it, revealing a hole that looked quite big, and from said hole, Lyla could hear something. laughter? Anguish? Soon she heard footsteps coming from the door the old man went through and placed the chair back over the hole, though she did not realise it was slightly out of place since she was in a rush.

The old man came out of what could be guessed to be the kitchen, as he had a tray in hand with a cup on it and a few different biscuits.

"Sorry for the long wait." The old man stated

Lyla decided, however, that it was time to go.

"Sorry. I'm quite busy, so I'll have to have it another time, but I've fixed your TV."

Lyla then turned; however, she glanced at the tea and biscuits, both looking oily and red. She quickly made her way towards the door and left, ignoring the man's words.

" How much do I pay?"

Lyla rushed, almost running at this point. Something was wrong with both that house and the village itself. Soon she caned across the village again and retraced her steps. There were now a lot more people, but they were all staring at her on the sidelines as if not curious but with ominous intent. Lyla also noticed how the floor, grass, trees, buildings, etc. seemed to be oily now. Everything seemed to wiggle ever so slightly.

She got to her car, got in, and quickly slammed the accelerator pedal, though in the rear view mirror all she could see behind her were waves of red. She quickly headed back to headquarters, though it did take a while, and informed her boss Boris of her findings. A day later, teams had been sent to the village and across the fields towards the house of the old man. The results of the large operation were, well, lacklustre.

It was gone. The entire village was gone. The old man's home was gone. Every individual was gone. All that was left were puddles of water and a protein found in muscle tissue called myoglobin. There were apparently signs of a rift that was previously here; however, said rift was unable to be found now.

No one really understands what has happened here. Lyla's mission was to investigate the numerous deaths that had happened in this village, which were supposedly somehow linked to the old man she had met and his home; however, not much was left to investigate. The whole situation was documented and called the " Act of normality."

[randrspaces]

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[cursedcola]

Synopsis: Years have passed since your homecoming to Earth. Your 'time' concluded and farewell inevitable at the hands of fate. After concluding their years at NRC, Wonderland's finest take it upon themselves to transcend dimensions and find the person who left without so much as a farewell. The catch is, they have no idea where you are, what this universe is like, and have to make a life for themselves in the meantime. How would they adapt to life on earth? A/N: Hey guys! I had this idea during a 4am mind-dump and rolled with it. May reference it if I do any Modern AU writing. Just some general Headcannons like what their residence, settlement of choice, work, general modern interests, style, etc. would be. Characters: Everyone. Warnings: None lol. This is for my own enjoyment! Part(s): Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle, Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, and Diasmonia You are here!: Heartslabyul

Nothing could have prepared the students of NRC for what lied beyond the mirror. A world unlike any of them ever known with magic being virtually non-existent ( or so it appears to the general public). With nothing but the clothes on their backs, falsified basic identification, personal items, and the small bits of knowledge gathered from you; these young adults have one mission - find the dimension hopping prefect, and try to stay out of prison. It was time to split up, cover as much ground as possible, and make a life in this unfamiliar reality.

Let us see how these fresh minds conform to 'Life on Earth' !

Heartslabyul Residence: United Kingdom

Riddle Rosehearts

Residence: Cambridge, England

Lives together with Trey in Cambridge, England. They share a two-bedroom apartment that's settled above the small bakery Trey works at.

Occupation: Government official. Likely somewhere in politics and law enforcement.

Riddle doesn't have a specific job listed simply because no one actually knows what it is that he does. He's very hush-hush about his personal affairs, which is understandable considering he respects the rules and confidentiality laws. Do not ask how he got a government job or how his falsified documents were overlooked. He has his ways, and that's all he is going to say.

Uses his job as a foot-in-the-door to try and find you. All they have is your data that was imputed into your TW account and phone app store, so he's going to cover all ground.

Very well off financially. He's taken more to the 'dark academia,' aesthetic going around on earth. Despite this he still shares his home with Trey, but is decorated like an academic's laboratory. Plenty of cherry wood furniture, plants, warm tones, and he surprisingly has pictures of the Heartslabyul gang everywhere.

One look at his clothes and you'll know who decorated the apartment. He loves corduroy pants, loafers, sweater-vests, turtle necks, and don't tell his mother but he got his ears pierced. Ruby red studs are his staple to match his hair.

Riddle easily conformed to earth's more mature audience. Just like in TW he struggles to understand recent trends and social media (Example: man will not go near Tik Tok). He picked up Linkdln and buisness platforms quickly, and not a week goes by where he doesn't have a buisness dinner. He's so well educated that he breezes through university life on earth and is on the path to get his Ph.D. in Political Science.

He loves the literature your world has to offer. He's collected so many new books that Trey had to convince him to rent a storage unit for them all (or get a kindle but Riddle likes to have the physical copy, so that's vetoed). He likes audio-books though because they're convenient, and he's taken up gardening

The one to consistently contact everyone with updates on your whereabouts. The leader of the UK gang in the search.

Ace Trappola

Residence: Cardiff, Wales

Lives together with Deuce in a one-bedroom apartment. They're broke as all hell and so they've got to make due. They've accommodated so that the living room is Deuce's room and Ace gets the actual bedroom. They're the tenants that constantly get complaints for being too loud and always scrape the deadline for rent. The type of duo to use bowls as cups because they fought over who would do the dishes. Now they've got angry neighbors, no clean dishes, and are at each others throats until the next day.

Occupation: Mechanic in training

Ace can't stand customer service but also isn't the type to do university. What is up his league is trade work, and the man wants a motorcycle so bad. At first he wasn't too into it but with time the field grew on him, and he gets along great with his mentors and coworkers. He's got the spunk and charisma to handle the job that's for sure.

He blends in so well, deadass. Yeah people know he's a foreigner and that he stands out appearance wise-but like, he's so outspoken that people take him for what he is. Basically the fresh youth on the block who's everyone's annoying little brother. The kind invited for after-work drinks (he is of age here. Remember they are all of age) and spend a couple rounds telling fun stories with.

We touched a bit on the living situation, but his bedroom is full of pop culture references from earth. He's a big marvel fan and he loves doing those lego-sets that come with instructions. He's got the infinity gauntlet model one on display and is eyeing the lego-store for when he can afford another big project. He's dreaming of seeing Disney world, and his room has lots of travel brochures for exciting trips

He often plays sports with the neighborhood kids and his friends and has random supplies thrown everywhere.

He's taken a liking to grunge fashion. Lots of flannel, skinny jeans, beanies, layered t-shirts, etc. He's a skater boy. Loves fashion jewelry and fidget rings

I feel that if Riddle or someone else had an idea of where you were, Ace would be the one they send to go see in person. Both himself and Deuce are confident that they'll know you when they see you without much work. Ace also has this disarming affinity where if he offered to buy you a coffee, it would just come off as a chill guy shooting his shot at a spontaneous date

Deuce Spade

Residence: Cardiff, Wales

Lives together with Ace in the one bedroom apartment mentioned prior. He's the one who tries to keep some semblance of order in the house. His space is generally clean but he gets super annoyed when Ace makes trips to the kitchen in the middle of the night. He's definetly the more responsible one of the two and the favorite if his neighbors had to choose. Deuce just wants some privacy and to get a full night's sleep, but knows that he couldn't afford a place of his own. He's the one who chose Cardiff on a whim, but ends up liking that they're close to the coast.

Occupation: Firefighter also in training

If coming to your world did one thing for Deuce, it was knock him on his ass in a good way. At NRC it was his focus to do well in school and make something of himself. He was doing it for his mom, but here he had to work with what he had to succeed. He gave university a shot for a semester before deciding that it wasn't getting him anywhere. Then he saw that dangers on earth couldn't be fought with magic, and was amazed at how firefighters, medical staff, etc. work to help others. All was history from that moment, and now Deuce is playing to his strengths AND doing something meaningful.

Like Ace, Deuce is loved by many people. He is the polite young man that all the grandmas bake sweets for in return for him carrying their groceries. He has amazing manners, and this pure aura that makes people want to help him. He's the guy you call when you need help during a move, or when you want someone to keep you company while building ikea furniture. He has such a genuine interest in people's stories, and often comes home with leftovers because he was invited to chat with the family next door over dinner.

He talks a lot about his mom and about the person he's in search for. He doesn't go in detail about you aside that you were friends and he moved here so you can be together. It's always a tear-jerker that pulls at people's heart-strings. He just loves and misses his mom so much, and he wants to see you more than anything. So touching~

Deuce is definetly a sports and social gathering kind of guy. In the living room there are many picture of events he's volunteered at and prizes from contests that he's entered. Like Ace, he wants to travel your world. He wants to go to all the famous nature spots and climb the highest mountains. He's also a gym jock. If he's not volunteering, at work, or socializing then he's at the gym

He's bought into the department-store aesthetic 100%. It's sweatpants, mesh shorts, dorky t-shirts, and too many different sneakers to keep track of. He actually let his hair grow out after coming to your world and now we have man-bun Deuce.

Trey Clover

Residence: Cambridge, England

The one who suggested splitting up in the first place. He wants in-and-out of your world as soon as possible (at least at first), and is by far the most lowkey of his the Heartslabyul gang.

Lives with Riddle in an apartment above his workplace. It's simple, really. He saw a 'help wanted' sign in the window of a family-own bakery. Strolled in, asked for an application, and then did a test run to show them his skills. He played a bit dirty and used his magic to cater to the owner's tastes but got the job instantly. The shop was run by an old couple that was conveniently looking to rent out the loft above their shop, and Trey jumped on it. Now he lives quietly and lets the others do the dirty work as he does what he knows best.

He lets Riddle take over the entire apartment aside from his bedroom. That he keeps very simple, and it's a complete contrast from the rest of the apartment. It has neutral whites with tinges of lemon yellow and lavender purple here and there. A bed, dresser, desk, and honestly it's so orderly that you wouldn't know someone was living inside. He often invites the bakery owners for tea and they're in awe of what the duo have done with the place. Trey and Riddle are the perfect tenants for any landlord to have.

He's by far the best at blending in with the common folk. Like Riddle, he does dress a bit more formally than the rest of his friends. He likes to stick to loafers, tan pants, and a button down shirt. Occasionally he'll toss in a sweater or a blazer to spice things up. However, one look at him and you'll think 'that's someone with their life together alright'

Occupation: Baker, if it isn't obvious by now.

As stated before, Trey sticks to what he's good at. He saw an opportunity and he swooped in. No doubts or questioning. The job was his before he knew it and he loves the quaint life he's been living on earth

Trey is also beloved by all in his neighborhood. Riddle is seen as someone to be highly respected and is slightly intimidating to the common man. Trey though? He's the cute baker boy that recently moved in and will happily chat about the weather with you over tea. He's mischievous and reads the atmosphere well. He's got a level head, and is very good at getting people to spill gossip. He balances out Riddle's imposing aura, making the two a good conversation topic for any passerby.

He uses this attentiveness to his advantage. If Riddle's the one snooping around the government and politics, then Trey is the extra eye and ear he needs to catch missed information. when Riddle gets home from work and Trey closes up shop, the two are good at working together to combine their formal knowledge with city gossip to find clues.

Trey and Riddle's place is where Heartslabyul meetings take place. It wasn't hard for Trey to convince the shop owners to lend him the lower level for 'family gatherings' on days the shop was closed.

On earth, Trey loves the freedom he has. The planet has it's own issues yes, but there's something about a world without magic that is utterly calming to him. No spells, no competition, no worry of overblot, etc. He just gets to live the simple life that he has always wanted, and a part of him wants to stay once he's found you. He likes learning the world's history, exploring different cultures, and spending his time outside.

Cater Diamond

Residence: Aberdeen, Scotland

Now if anyone is going to last by themselves, it is Cater.

Riddle was initially supposed to go to Scotland alone but everyone knows that he needs someone for emotional support. Cater offered himself to the wolves in his stead.

Cater owns a studio somewhere around Aberdeen. It's confusing because while he owns it, he is never there. No one has ever visited his house or been invited over once. His landlord doesn't have to worry about paparazzi or anything because no one ever sees him enter or leave.

Just for an idea though, it is decorated very retro-chic. He's got everything you can imagine from the 70s and 80s. The style just really resonated with him, y'know? All the bright colors and fun textures. He loves shag rugs, lava lamps, chalk-painted walls, etc. He definetly has a water bed and incense burners. I think he would have a cat if he was home to care for it.

Occupation: Influencer

C'mon, this is to be expected. It's why he's never home! He's a travel influencer that runs a pretty well-known blog and many other media pages. There isn't a day he doesn't live stream his latest adventure and is the easiest to get a hold of out of everyone.

There isn't a single person that doesn't know of Cater Diamond. Need I say more about his social life?

Despite it all, he's still off by himself and he always makes sure to video chat everyone every day. Not to get too deep...but while he's loved he definetly has that outsider complex. Out of everyone, he is the one who is excited to go home the most. He's thriving but there is no place like home.

Just like Deuce, he tells people about you. He's had his friends appear as guests in his videos/streams (imagine the crowd when Riddle of all people appeared lol), but the one person they've never seen is Cater's supposed 'special person'. He's hoping by some miracle that one of his videos will reach you, and that you'll know it's your Cater. I mean, you must have noticed the missing characters in your game, right? Connect the dots hunny.

Cater's known for his exploration with fashion and hobbies. He's tried everything from gothic lolita to cottage core. The man flips like a light switch on the daily. One thing that's constant though is the color red. It reminds him of his roots, so he always has a splash of red or a hidden rose in his outfits.

I mentioned a travel blog, right? Well mixed in there he writes about new hobbies or discoveries he makes along the way. Imagine the first time he saw a rubix cube? He streamed himself trying to solve it and it's one of his most quoted moments. No one could believe that he had never seen one until that moment.

[mysticalrambling]

Missing You (T.H)

Tom Holland Fan fiction (Fan fiction Masterlist)

Summary: Tom is away for shooting and he is missing his daughter’s first easter. You and Sophia miss him terribly and he feels terrible for missing it. Sophia gets hurt during the egg hunt and Tom flies back to be with his family.

Warnings: Angst and some fluff.

._._._._.

“Daddy?” You had been folding your laundry because it was a therapeutic chore. The maid always left it for you by the end of the day because she knew that you enjoyed doing it. Your moment was interrupted by your one year old daughter barging into your room with only one question on her mind.

She had recently started walking and you were silently thankful because your over protective husband wouldn’t let her touch the ground in the fear that she would hurt herself. It even came to the point that Sophia started becoming agitated whenever he interrupted her progress. She would scream Bloody Mary when she saw him approaching with his arms outstretched. You sat him down one day and gently explained to him that we have to let her explore the world. If she falls and gets hurt, then it was our job to take care of her but we could not protect her from everything in advance.

The moment she took her first steps, they were towards Tom. You were there to record the moment and you guys were so glad that Tom had backed off a little bit. He would be there for his little princess every step of the way. If she wanted to leap, she could and he will be there to catch her if she started to fall. Sophia was the most important person in his life after you.

“Daddy is going to be here before your first Easter, bunny. Hopefully.” The last word was more of a mumble for yourself because you really hoped that he would be here. Sophia was born a few weeks after Easter so this was her first one.

“Daddy?”

Sighing, you said, “Let’s just get ready and see how cute you look in your new costume.”

“Bunny!” She ran off to her room to put her name on the and you opened your phone. Your husband told you that he would drop a text at approximately this time if he was going to make it back before the party. Disappointed, you just put the phone back on the side table.

“Okay, you need to sit tightly so that I can make your braids.” She was a hyper ball after she found the candies on the coffee table that you were going to give it to her at the party. Allergies to nuts was one of the many things that she had inherited from Tom and you never liked to take chances regarding their health. “No more sweets for you today, miss.”

“Nooooooo. Daddy!” Sophia’s voice trembled in the end because she knew that her dad would defend her. He was her knight in shining armor.

“Daddy is not here so let’s stop screaming now.” You were already in a sour mood as your husband was not with you on an important milestone. And Sophia was not making things easy for you either.

“No!”

“You are ready. I am going to give you your coloring books while I go get ready.” You did not listen to her small sniffles and went to take a shower while keeping the door open so you could keep an eye on her. When you got out, your phone was ringing and it was Tom.

“Hi. I am so sorry I can’t make it today. I tried my very best to get done with filming but it was not possible. So sorry, darling.” There was a crack in his voice that let you know that he was devastated about it.

“It’s okay, baby. There will be other Easters and you will be there for all of them. Don’t be sad, please.” You  tried cheering him up but it was not working.

Tom was always big on firsts; your first date, your first I love you’s, Sophia’s first kick, Sophia’s first tooth. He kept a record of all the moments and he was incredibly sad that he did not get to witness his child’s first Easter. Acting was something that he really enjoyed but he hated it right now. It was keeping him away from his family. He had planned everything out from where to hide all the eggs to where to buy the small bunny cupcakes that he would give to his little girl at the end of the day. This was not right but he was helpless. He could not do anything because he had an obligation to his fans as well.

“Is she wearing the costume that I ordered her?” When you mumbled out a yes, he asked, “Can you please send me a picture?”

“Soph, come and stand here. Pose for daddy.” When you sent him the picture, there was no response from his side. Seeing the picture, Tom choked back a sob. His little bunny looked incredibly cute with a white dress and a bunny ear headband. A pink tint graced her cheeks which meant that she had some candies and she had a toothy smile. Before he could say anything, the director called him back to shooting. “We will talk to daddy later. He might be busy right now.”

Tom’s mom had planned a party at her house and the whole garden was prepared for the egg hunt. You both wanted to host the party this year but Tom had to go to Cardiff last minute because of his shooting. Your siblings and nieces and nephews were all going to be there. You were happy that you got to spend this occasion with your family but you were miserable right now. Tom was not here.

“Hi. Who is this little rabbit here?” Nikki leaned in front of the toddler and squished Sophia in one of her famous bear hugs.

“Sophia Anne Holland!” There was a proud undertone to her voice because she could speak her whole name now.

“You are the cutest bunny ever.”

“I know.” You all chuckled at her haughty admission and watched as she skipped towards her cousins.

“Tom isn’t going to make it today?”

“Um no. He could not get away from work and he said to apologise on his behalf.” It was like something was missing and you didn’t want to indulge in that feeling.

“I am sorry, darling but he will make it up to you and Sophie.” You wanted to divert the topic so you started to talk about the guests and the decorations.

Pretty soon, you started mingling with the people and they always asked about Tom. You either replied to them or politely redirected the conversation. It felt weird being at a gathering without Tom. You haven’t done that from the past five years and you realised you didn’t much enjoy it now. Keeping an eye on Sophia was hard because it was usually Tom who performed that duty. You were given a free pass at parties from all the responsibilities and were allowed to enjoy every moment. He was always considerate towards you and that is why you loved him to death.

“Sophia, you can not go near the pool.” You caught her in your arms before she could fall in.

“Dada swimm- swimming.” Tommy was the one who was teaching her to swim because it was a hobby that he wanted his daughter to adopt from him. When she saw the water, she thought that her dad will be there to teach her.

“When dad comes back, you can go swimming.” Sophia still kept looking around for her father because this is the longest she has been away from him. Her toddler mind thinks that if she goes to do things that they do together, he will come to her. You couldn’t even get angry at her for wandering around the house without anyone. Hugging her, you tried to distract her, “Now, granny is having an egg hunt and we need to win it, okay bubs?”

“Win!!” You took her in your arms and went towards the garden where all the people were.

“Look, Tom. (Y/N) is here.” A phone was shoved in to your face by Sam and you saw Tom’s face on the screen.

“Hi. I was calling you and you didn’t pick up. I wanted to see Sophie on the egg hunt.” There was a look of longing on his face.

“I was busy with your daughter. She was running near the swimming pool and wanted to get in because she thought that you would be there to teach her.”

“Is she alright? Let me see her.” You angled the phone towards your shoulder where she was leaning on him. “Hey, baby.”

“Hi. Back?” Tom wanted nothing more than to hold his daughter in his arms and his heart broke when his daughter asked him that question. It meant that he was away too long because she never asked that question before. She didn’t need to.

“I’ll be back in no time and then we will go swimming. Promise.”

“Yes.” She hopped down from your arms and went to the start line of the race.

“How have you been?”

“Just missing you a lot and handling Soph is getting harder by the day.” You moved to a more secluded place on the ground so you could talk to your husband.

“I am sorry, darling. When I come back, you can have the whole weekend off.”

“Just come back. I want to spend sometime with my husband.”

“That is a tempting offer but I have to stay here a little longer. But when I come back, we will do more than spend sometime together.”

“I will look forward to it. The game is starting so I have to go.” You were about to end the call but he stopped you.

“I want to see her and I have a break for another twenty minutes.”

“Okay.”

The race soon started and among all her cousins, Sophia was the youngest and the most hyper. You cheered her on with her grandparents and Tom. She was about to win the race and you were more excited than her. Tommy wanted to be there to witness her first victory but he settled down for seeing it on the phone. However, she stumbled on some rocks that were on the trail and she fell hard.

“Oh my god! Go to her, (Y/N).” Tom’s voice broke you out of your horrified trance and you went in to autopilot. When you reached near her, you gave the phone to someone behind you and kneeled in front of your daughter. She was crying really loudly and her arms was bent to an odd angle. Cuddling her in your arms, you picked her up and went towards your car. “What is happening? Mum, tell me!”

“I think Sophie’s arm is broken. (Y/N) is taking her to the hospital right now. I will keep you updated.” Nikki was moving quickly towards her car while she gripped the phone in her hands.

“Mum, I want to talk to my daughter right now.” He didn’t even realise that he was pacing and his hair was all messed up because he ran his hands through it several times.

“Tommy, I will keep you updated. Right now, she is a lot of pain and she is scared.”

“Please keep me informed.” This was one of the worst moment in his life because he wasn’t there for his girls. You both needed him right now and he wasn’t there. He decided then and there that he was going back to London.

Meanwhile, you reached the hospital with Sophia wailing in your arms and Sam driving like a cray man. You were sure that he would have multiple speeding tickets waiting for him when he gets home. The E.R was busy at this time of the day and you just laid your daughter on one of the beds while Nikki went to go get a doctor.

“Honey, it’s going to be okay. Please be strong, baby girl.” There were tears in your eyes as your daughter’s face turned red with all the crying and screaming. The little girl was in too much pain.

“Daddy, plea- please. Hurts a lot.” Hiccuping in the middle of the sentence, you looked at your brother in law helplessly. She wanted Tom and he wasn’t here right now.

“We will talk to daddy after the nice doctor here checks you out, baby.” She wouldn’t let anyone near her or her arm and kept asking for her father, She was inconsolable.

Sitting in front of the bed, the doctor asked, “Hi, I am Dr Ana. What happened to this little bunny here?”

“She, uh, she fell during the race and I think she broke her arm.” You stood on the foot of the bed as you shakily explained the whole situation. “Soph, let her check your boo boo please.”

“Daddy, please.”

“Okay, let me call your dad and you can talk to him.” Nikki interjected when she saw that the conversation was not reaching any end point.

“Okay.” You wiped her snot with your sleeves as she clutched her broken arm in pain.

“Tom, talk to Sophia. She is not letting the doctors treat her.” Putting the phone on speaker, Tom’s voice filtered through the phone.

“Hey bubs. You need to let the doctor check you and make the boo boo alright.” His soothing voice brought tears to your eyes as you wanted nothing more than to hold his hand right now.

“It hurts. Back please?”

“I am coming back right now so you need to let the doctor check your arm. I will be there in no time.”

“Okay.” The moment the doctor started examining her arm, you took the phone from your mother in law.

“It’s going to be okay. You don’t have to come back.” You sniffled a little as the doctor got a portable x-ray to check up on Sophia’s arm. She held on to your hand tightly as even the little movement hurt her.

“I am. In fact, my flight is already confirmed. I will be there in four hours, tops.”

Tom declined the call as his manager called him downstairs. Getting in to the car, he just prayed to God that his little girl would be okay. He swore mentally that he would never let Sophia run. He should have been there and he was going to never leave his family’s side ever again.

“I have given her some pain meds for her pain so she should be settling down now.” Sophia was moved to a pediatric room and now she was calming down a little bit. “What color cast do you want, Miss Holland?”

“Pink.” She stated as a matter of fact and you lightly laughed. Nikki and Sam were in the room as well and they were staying till Tom got here. The pain medication slowly started working and Soph drifted off to sleep with Mr Fluffs in her arms.

“We are going to get coffee and then we can get you a change of clothes. Do you want something else?” Whispering, Nikki placed a hand on your shoulder.

“I am fine. I just need the clothes and can you please bring some for Tom as well. I know he would come straight here from the airport.”

“Okay, darling. Take care and call us if something happens.”

“Okay, thank you.” You put your head on the bed and drifted off to sleep.

Tom entered the hospital and the receptionist guided him towards Sophia’s room. Quietly steeping in there, he saw his two girls sleeping. Sophia looked so tiny in that patient bed and he never wanted to see her there. When he got close, he saw dried tears on his little girl’s cheek and his heart broke when he thought about the pain that she was in. The pink cast was set on her right arm and he want to her side and gently kissed it.

“I am so sorry baby, I wasn’t here. I won’t ever leave you again, I promise.”

“You are back.” The commotion in the room woke you up and you saw your husband right in front of you.

“Just got in.” Tom’s eyes never left the tiny human being laying underneath the sheets. “(Y/N), she is never running again.”

“Honey, children get hurt all the time. She will recover in no time.”

“But-”

“Dadda!” Your baby jumped in to his arms before any of you realised what was happening. Her cast bumped on to the iron rod of the bed and she let out a blood curling scream.

“Call the doctor. It’s okay, bubs. You are going to be okay.” Kissing her cast, he tried to calm down the crying toddler. Meantime, you went to call Dr Anna so that she could check Sophia’s arm.

“It is all fine. You just need to be really careful with that arm. We are going to keep her here for one day and then you both can take your little girl home.”

You took Sophia from your husband and told him to go change in to comfortable clothes. When he came back, you both settled on the small bed and your daughter told him all about the injury and the pain. You both signed her pink cast and Tom also drew some rainbows and birds on it. Soon, it was time for her to take her medicines and you had to bribe her with chocolates, She always got her way.

“I love you, baby. Go to sleep now.” He wrapped the blanket around her and switched off all the lights.

“Love you. Be here?”

“Yes, I will be here darling. Now, sleep.” Sophia soon drifted off to sleep and Tom sat beside you on the couch.

“I missed you, Tommy.”

“I missed you too and I am never leaving you both for this long. Now, let’s go to sleep. It has been a tiring day.” Pecking him on the lips, you both laid down and just basked in each other’s warmth. Contented, you drifted off to sleep with your husband and child in the same room. Everything was going to be okay.

Hope you guys enjoyed it!!

._._._._.

A/N: I loved to write about Tom Holland as a family man. Tell me how you guys feel about it and I am open to requests regarding dad Tom. If you want to be added to my tag list, comment down below.

Like, comment and reblog.

._._._._.

[upsettingandunfortunateclasshate]

People are feeling pent-up’: Swansea struggles with rise in violence

Residents and politicians say lockdown, deprivation and social division played a part in recent riot

Adam Romain, whose car and house were vandalised, sits on one of the concrete barriers installed at Waun-Wen Road. Photograph: Dimitris Legakis/Athena/The Guardian

Steven Morris @stevenmorris20

Mon 21 Jun 2021 06.00 BST

A month on, Adam Romain is still clearly deeply traumatised by the outburst of violence that took place on the doorstep of his Swansea home.

Rioters set fire to cars outside his terrace house, and when he attempted to stop them, hurled bricks through his windows. Delivery driver Romain turned on a head-cam and captured the screams of his partner and children as glass smashed and the flames danced outside. He dialled 999 and told the operator: “They’ve targeted my house. They are throwing bricks at my house. I have two children inside, please come.”

A quietly spoken, thoughtful man, Romain, 34, has spent hours mulling the causes of the Mayhill riot, in which scores of people took to the streets, pushed a car down the dizzyingly steep Waun-Wen Road and attacked police vans after a vigil for a local teenager turned sour.

He has come to believe the riot was part of a bigger social problem. “I think the feeling has grown that you can get away with a lot and nobody will do anything about it, a sense of lawlessness,” he said. “A lot of people seem to think they don’t have much to lose. The lockdowns may have something to do with it. People are feeling pent-up, frustrated.”

Romain has moved his family away. “I can’t imagine sitting in the front room not knowing when the next brick is going to come through the window.”

The derelict Swansea Boys’ Club building in Mayhill, damaged in a fire last November. Photograph: Dimitris Legakis/Athena/The Guardian

The riot has not been the only outbreak of violence and antisocial behaviour in the area in recent months. On Bonfire Night, the derelict Boys’ Club just across from Romain’s house was set on fire. There was a previous incident in which a car was rolled down Waun-Wen Road, and residents frequently have to dodge out of the way of motorbikes hurtling along pavements. In the early spring there were brawls involving gangs of young people a mile or so down the hill on the waterfront in Swansea.

There have been other incidents across south Wales. Armed officers were on the streets of Pontypool following reports of teenagers carrying weapons, while hundreds defied social distancing rules to party in front of the Welsh parliament building in Cardiff.

Martin Innes, the director of the Crime and Security Research Institute at Cardiff University, believes pressure that has built up during lockdowns, combined with social problems exacerbated by the Covid crisis, is leading to explosions of violence.

“It is a worrying situation,” he said. “Forces are coming together. Compliance with lockdown was pretty good. The problem is when you take the handbrake off. There is a sense among some young people that they have been abandoned and the future is hopeless.” He does not believe it is situation unique to Swansea or south Wales but one that could hit anywhere in the UK. “We may have a long, difficult summer coming up.”

There are obvious signs of what is being done in the aftermath of the Swansea riot. Blocks of concrete have been positioned towards the top of Waun-Wen Road to stop cars being rolled down. “It feels a bit like the Berlin Wall,” said retired toy factory worker Pamela Yates, who lives on the road. “But if it keeps us safe, fair enough.”

Mayhill and neighbouring Townhill – referred to locally as “the Hill” – have a rollercoaster history. They were created a century ago as a “garden city estate” built to get people out of the city slums. Many houses have wonderful views over Swansea Bay and towards the Gower peninsula or the Brecon Beacons.

In the 1990s, however, it was a car crime hotspot with dozens of chases between joyriders and police taking place in a single night. The area was used as a location for the 1997 film Twin Town starring Rhys Ifans, which tells the story of a pair of joyriding brothers.

Things improved, thanks largely to the success of projects such as the Phoenix Centre, which was opened in March 2001 by the then prime minister Tony Blair and backed by funding from the EU. Twenty years on, it continues to run a successful nursery, library, sports facilities and job clubs.

Mike Durke, a former chief executive officer of the trust that operates the Phoenix, said the approach was to listen to what people said they wanted. “We wanted to be led by local people who had been pushed to the margins. It worked better than anyone could have felt possible, because we treated people with dignity.”

But the area remains one of the most deprived in Wales. In Mayhill, 14% of people have never worked or are long-term unemployed, against 5% for Swansea as a whole, according to the council’s ward profile (pdf). The proportion of single parent households is at 25%. Crime has increased this year, with offences for the January to March quarter the highest for three years.

Leanne Dower, the manager of the Phoenix, said her reaction to the riot was: “Wow, where did that come from?” Dower grew up in the area and remembers the time when the area was known as the “Hill of Despair”. “It is really not like that now,” she said.

She is proud of the reaction of people following the disturbance. Other residents helped the victims clean up and children from a nearby school, Ysgol Gymraeg y Cwm, wrote letters to those affected expressing their sorrow. “This behaviour should not be tolerated,” wrote one, “the violence was mad.”

Swansea council has promised to work with residents to make the place better. Joint deputy leader and Townhill councillor David Hopkins said: “Those who took part in the disorder are a minority and their disgusting behaviour was unacceptable. We’re working with partners including the Welsh government and the police to understand how the incident happened, what can be done to further support families and to ensure this doesn’t happen again.”

Swansea as a whole is on the up. A new city-centre arena is nearing completion; there is a Marco Pierre White restaurant on the SA1 waterfront; poetry lovers flock to the Dylan Thomas Centre.

“All that doesn’t do us much good,” said Jon (not his real name), a Hill resident who was present on the night of the riot, though only as an onlooker. “There’s a bit of an us and them kind of vibe – loads to do down there but fuck all up here. We’re the forgotten ones.”

There did seem precious little for youngsters to do this week. The youth centre at the community hall was closed and nobody was playing football or basketball on the Phoenix pitches. The doors of the boxing club were shut.

Tony Roper in Townhill. Photograph: Dimitris Legakis/Athena/The Guardian

Tony Roper, 75, who was born and bred on the Hill and is a former chair of a group that acted as a link between the police and community, said it was very different when he was young. “There was something on every night for the young people, from sports to basket-weaving. That’s all gone.”

He suggested a reason for the riot may be that people have simply got used to images of people protesting or fighting the police. “They see people standing up to authority and think they can do it too.”

Julie James, the Labour Welsh parliament member for Swansea West, said it seemed clear that the violence escalated after images of its beginnings were shared on social media, and said a review would look at whether it should have been anticipated or spotted sooner and stopped. She also raised concerns that the area is going to miss out on funding in this post-Brexit world. “There’s no doubt the loss of EU funding will hit the area,” she said.

The Welsh government launched a fierce attack this week on the UK government’s replacement for EU funds, the shared prosperity fund (UKSPF). It pointed out that the pilot for the UKSPF, the community renewal fund, is worth £220m across the UK in this financial year.

Welsh ministers argued that if the UK had remained in the EU, Wales would have had new EU structural funding worth at least £375m each year for seven years from January 2021 – on top of funding from the current EU programmes. James said: “This is a serious cut in the amount of money Wales should get.”

Jonathan Russ with his partner Nicola Rogers. The riots in Mayhill began after a vigil for Russ’s son Ethan Powell. Photograph: Dimitris Legakis/Athena/The Guardian

The UK government’s Ministry of Housing, Communities and Local Government disputes the Welsh administration’s claims as “misleading and based on highly speculative figures, arguing: “Our UKSPF will invest in people, communities and local business to level up and create opportunity in places most in need and for people who face labour-market barriers.”

James also believes lockdown may have played a part. “Lockdown has been more frustrating to young people, and the poorer you are the harder it is to sustain yourself in lockdown – you have less access to IT and outside space.”

Another person still trying to understand the Mayhill riot is Jonathan Russ, the father of Ethan Powell, the young man whose vigil after his sudden death at the age of 19 ended in violence. “It left us angry and embarrassed that his name was even connected to what went on. He was such a lovely boy,” Russ said.

[sagehaleyofficial]

HERE’S WHAT YOU MISSED THIS WEEK (3.17-3.23.21):

NEW MUSIC:

Danny Worsnop of Asking Alexandria shared a brand new solo track titled “Love You More.” The song marks the first original music that he has released since the start of 2020.

Yungblud released a new version of his song “Parents” featuring a part created by a fan on the popular video app TikTok. He surprised her by sending her to Parr Street Studios to record.

Rise Against announced the details of their brand new album Nowhere Generation. The new record is being released on June 4 via Loma Vista Recordings and will feature their previously released single “Broken Dreams Inc.”

NOAHFINNCE released a new track titled “Stupid,” along with an accompanying music video. The song follows on from “Life's a Bit,” his first release on Hopeless Records.

Machine Gun Kelly and Corpse Husband have now released a music video for their collaboration track “Daywalker!”. The duo previously released the track earlier this month.

Beartooth released a new song titled “Devastation.” The song is the first brand new music from the band since the release of 2019's “Disease.”

Magnolia Park released a new track titled “TDH2S” featuring Broadside’s Ollie Baxxter. The band recently just released their debut mixtape Dream Eater last Friday.

Chapel shared a new song from their upcoming EP titled “Wow.” The EP in question, Room Service, is set to be released on April 23 via Rise Records.

All Time Low revealed that they are releasing a track called “Once in a Lifetime” this Wednesday. The song will be the first new music from the band since they dropped their refreshed version of “Monsters” featuring Demi Lovato last year.

The Maine returned with their brand new single “Sticky” off their album, XOXO: From Love and Anxiety in Real Time, which will be released July 9 via Photo Finish Records. They later played a livestream titled “XOXO, From The Maine.”

Waxflower released a new song from their upcoming EP titled “Food for Your Garden.” The band’s new EP We Might Be Alright is set to drop on April 16 via Rude Records.

Meet Me @ the Altar released a new track titled “Hit Like a Girl” in celebration of Women’s History Month. The song is the first new music from the band in 2021 and follows their previous single “Garden.”

TOUR ANNOUNCEMENTS:

Architects announced the details of a UK arena tour, set to take place in early 2022. The tour will kick off in Leeds, England, on February 22 and end in Cardiff on March 1.

The Offspring announced that they will be bringing their new album Let the Bad Times Roll to the UK for a pair of special intimate shows this December. Both performances will feature a Q&A with members Dexter Holland and Noodles.

You Me at Six rescheduled some of the dates for their Suckapunch UK Tour. The tour will now take place in Manchester, England, on September 2 and end in London on September 10.

Yungblud has added more dates to his highly anticipated “Life on Mars” UK Tour. The singer added shows in Brighton on September 27, Portsmouth on October 2 and Leeds on October 16.

Black Veil Brides announced they are taking part in an acoustic virtual tour, where they will play at a different American radio station each day. The tour begins at WEBN/Cincinnati on March 23 and ends with KCJK/Kansas City on April 2.

OTHER NEWS:

Tom DeLonge of Angels & Airwaves revealed he is selling some of his old gear via Reverb. His collection features over 100 different pieces of equipment and instruments.

Underoath founding guitarist Corey Steger has passed away, the band has confirmed. Corey played on the band's first two albums, Act of Depression and Cries of the Past.

All Time Low’s classic single “Dear Maria, Count Me In” is now certified 2x Platinum in the United States. The song initially hit Platinum certification back in 2015.

___

Check in next Tuesday for more “Posi Talk with Sage Haley,” only at @sagehaleyofficial!

[dichenlachmandaily]

Talk beauty with incredible beauty Dichen Lachman? Yes, please! In addition to her diverse acting credits —  she can be seen in next year’s “Jurassic World: Dominion,” and in “Severance,” the upcoming Ben Stiller-directed series airing on Apple TV+ — Dichen has a diverse background that is at least partially responsible for her stunning, singular appearance. Born in Nepal, her father Australian, Dichen says she has eclectic taste and likes “to try different looks.” From brows to Botox, we discussed all things aesthetic with the actress and mom to five-and-a-half-year-old, Mathilda.

The Bare Magazine: First, let’s talk about your cool background, born in Nepal, raised in Australia. What did you internalize from each place about beauty?

Dichen Lachman: In Nepal, makeup was very linked to the culture; the third eye and the kohl around the eyes. They even put the theekha on little babies. In the West, it’s not linked to anything spiritual. It’s more about aesthetics and trends. I like observing how all cultures incorporate makeup into their identity. I find it fascinating. In terms of me, I don’t wear a lot of makeup unless I need to do a work thing — I’m more interested in taking care of my skin than painting it.

Bare: Perfect segue! How do you take care of your skin?

DL: As a mom, I really don’t have a lot of time to take care of it. I use witch hazel to clean my skin, and there are a few different products from different lines that I’ll mix and match. It’s kind of a journey finding the right product as a woman, and as you get older, your skin changes.

Bare: Speaking of getting older, who do you think is doing it well and with grace?

DL: I’ve been embracing this idea over the last few years: If it feels good and you’re inspired to do it, and you’re not hurting anybody, then do it. It’s easy to see somebody and say “that’s a lot of work,” but if they’re happy…Of course, in some cases it goes into body dysmorphic territory, but I think that’s when it is up to the people around you to check in and ask, “Are you okay?”

Bare: It’s a slippery slope, for sure.

DL: It’s really interesting, there are so many people in this business, and they’re aging so gracefully, and then you find out they’ve had work. But, like, I get it because it’s a business where people have to look at you. And also technology is so advanced that when you see your face through a filter you’re, like, ‘look how I great I look!’ and then you take it off and you’re, like, ‘oh dear God, who is that? I like the other person!’ I don’t like that we are doing this to ourselves. It’s nice to look and feel good, and it’s nice to take a good picture. A little manipulation is nice, but when it gets to a point where it’s unattainable, that only makes us feel worse. I think it will take a generational push back to change it. Maybe my daughter’s generation will be, like, ‘oh my God you filtered your face?’

Bare: What message do you hope to pass on to your daughter about beauty?

DL: Just that she’s enough. She likes to play with makeup and stuff like that. And sometimes she sees me using it and wants to try it. I tell her she doesn’t need it. Children are beautiful. They don’t need anything. In fact, keeping it simple is a good policy for any age. Less is more.

Bare: Do you ever see yourself getting Botox or fillers?

DL: I did do “Baby Botox” once. I tried it because I have a completely crooked smile, so I went to a derm out of curiosity at the end of 2019 and I was, like, ‘I don’t want to do anything, I just want to know what you see here, and what should I do.’ Half an hour later I was, like, ‘sure, let’s try a tiny bit of Botox here.’ It helped straighten out my smile.

Bare: Do you have any beauty idols?

DL: There are so many incredible, gorgeous women out there. Madonna, of course, embracing so many different looks. She was a trailblazer. There are a lot of beautiful actresses from the 50’s, too. And my mom! She didn’t wear any makeup — she didn’t even pluck her eyebrows. Her mom would rub butter on her face as moisturizer.

Bare: Do you have a favorite on-screen look of yours?

DL: In so many shows, I’m covered in dirt or blood! I think in terms of beauty, the makeup artists on “Altered Carbon” did an amazing job. My face is very strange, not everyone knows what to do with it. I have a lot of surface area, and my eyes are Asian, so they’re not always easy to do. It’s very easy to make me look over the top.

Bare: Shifting to more spiritual things, do you have any wellness practices?

DL: I love meditating and thinking about creative ideas or things. I do that while I’m cleaning. I think that your environment informs how you feel, so I like creating a nice environment…even if it is ultimately destroyed by my daughter. I find it meditative. My husband is, like, “You’re vacuuming again?” But it’s so satisfying to hear the crumbs get sucked up by the vacuum cleaner — and you can see real progress. I like painting for that reason, too. I painted a house with a friend. It’s rewarding to see things change right in front of your eyes.

Bare: We’d be remiss if we didn’t ask about your tattoo. What does it say?

DL: It’s actually a Virgil tattoo, which is hilarious because I didn’t know it at the time, but apparently it’s common to get a Virgil tattoo. I was in Cardiff Castle in Wales, and in the ladies’ tea room I saw one of his quotes: “Love conquers all things, so we too shall yield to love.” So I wrote it down, and at one point I decided to get it inked on myself. I could have many more, but I don’t like sitting in the makeup chair getting them covered all the time.

Bare: We like to close our interviews by asking our subjects for their Bare Essentials. As in, what do you absolutely need in life?

DL: Probably Witch Hazel for my skin. I get it at Target. I love aloe vera from the garden, too. But what I really couldn’t live without is my family. Even if I need alone time sometimes.

Editor: Didi Gluck

Photos and makeup: Tina Turnbow using Ogee

All clothing from Zara

[captainjimothycarter]

here today in memory

Summary: In his mind, today marks not just her deathday, but the 72nd anniversary that Peggy Carter had said yes.

Warnings: Hurt/Little comfort

Pairings: Steve & Natasha, Steve/Peggy

Square Filled: Engagement

A/N: @avengersbingo

Link: Here

--

In his mind, today marks not just her deathday, but the 72nd anniversary that Peggy Carter had said yes.

“We were young and silly and caught up in a war neither one of us had business being in. Yet, there we were, making whispered promises to one another in hopes that we’d see it through,” Steve finds himself whispering to the marble slab. “I loved you. I loved you since the first time I laid my eyes on you, since the first time I watched you knock the lights out of Hodge. I snorted, far too loud, and you bought my lie of me not being able to catch my breath.

Now, I guess you knew I was lying, didn’t you? You just didn’t want to say anything. You saw something in me - whatever it was...I still don’t know. You took a chance on me. More than just love, Pegs. You took me under your wing after you caught Hodge and his lil’ gang beating me up. There were always men like him, always will be but you took a chance and helped me learn how to fight. Finally got one laid on him, didn’t I? Knocked his lights right out - he didn’t dare say anything to Phillips about that missing tooth.”

Steve’s head laid back on his shoulders as he let out a sigh, the weight of the world felt far too heavy resting on them. He ran his fingertips over the marble, tracing over the name and dates without really looking at them. 

“Then, I died. I made a date, a promise, and I died. I woke up in a new century, don’t know where I was - I still don’t. Found you were still alive and...I-I don’t know if it's still better or for worse. I supposed I’m selfish, thinking you’d be younger somehow. Through sheer force of will, I guess. I don’t know why I thought you’d be...we’d be…”

His throat tightened and not for the first time that evening, tears blurred his vision. He didn’t bother to blink them away or to wipe them as they ran down his face. The air was turning cold with every blast of wind on this frigid hill but Steve saw no reason to get up and trudge back inside. He was used to colder climates.

“We were engaged. I still kept the ring...they...they said you did too. You wore it around your neck, right next to my dog tag. You never gave up, did you? Some part of you still held hope and I’m alive because of you, Pegs. I’m grateful but I...I’m selfish and I need you. How could you leave me?”

That’s what broke the dam, the sobs rising in his throat before he could quell it before he could shove the emotions down. Steve didn’t stop himself in dragging his knees to his chest, not caring if the suit was dirtied in the freshly laid dirt or not as he sobbed his heart out on Peggy’s fresh grave.

“Do you want to know what she thought about you?” A voice to his right asks, causing Steve’s head to pick up. It's dark out, so it takes him longer than normal to see Natasha kneeling beside him.

He’s been sitting here for hours then, weaving in between consciousness and sobbing. He’s tuckered out, there’s not one last tear inside of him. He can’t even muster the energy to fight sleep, the cold is the only thing keeping him awake. 

“I already know,” Steve grumbled, his voice hoarse with speaking far too much to a person he’ll never see alive again. “She loved me.”

“Foolishly,” Natasha mused, making Steve’s nose wrinkle. “You know how I feel about love but I can see when one means a great deal to someone. She foolishly loved you, enough to surround her whole life to protect the innocent but it was the smaller things she did that also honored you.”

“I know about those. S-Stark told me. The garden down in Brooklyn, near Buck and I’s old apartment - it feeds the homeless and poor. SHIELD regulates it. Or well-did before…” He waved his hand as if to gesture to everything that has happened in the last few years. 

“It still does, maybe not the organization we once knew but a few agents dedicated to the cause and a few good samaritans help out,” she pointed out, making Steve’s lips twitch into a small smile. “She also started a program with Maria Stark to help out the poor, to help those with medical needs get the help they need. So families can spend time with one another and no one has to work four jobs just to make ends meet. Do you know what she called it?”

Natasha’s little smile stayed as Steve shook his head. Her hand reached out to smooth the few locks that fell across his forehead. “The Sarah Rogers Foundation.”

If Steve could cry, he knew a few more tears would’ve found a way to his eyes. All he could do was give a seldom nod. Natasha knew he was thankful beyond words could express.

Peggy always found a way to honor the little things.

“Do you know what else she thought of you?” Natasha mused, her hand held out this time to pull him to his feet. At Steve’s questionable look, she gave an amused grin to herself. “That you were an idiot. A daft idiot who always tried to do the right thing, even if it was for the wrong reason. She loved you, Steve, and she wouldn’t want you to be alone.”

Peggy was right, even in death she found a way to be right.

--

Steve didn’t question where they were going, he let his feet take him, trusting Natasha to lead. His eyes stayed on the ground, watching his boots caked in mud slap against the concrete. His jeans crinkled as he walked, losing a bit of the dried dirt and mud he’d obtained while sitting at her grave. It wasn’t until he was in a hotel room that he didn’t recognize did he finally lookup.

“Did I-” He wasn’t even sure what was going to come out of his mouth, brain in too much of a fog to try to ask any questions.

If he tried to think, it was of her. It was of the life she lived, the life they didn’t get to live. It was selfishly of her. 

“You’re not selfish,” Natasha mused in that manner that told him she was reading his mind again. She was scary good like that. Peggy would have liked her. “You’re in mourning, you’re in pain and possibly hurt more than most people will understand. They just see the loss of a great leader, a woman who broke boundaries, changed the world and while that stings to them, it is so much more on your level, isn’t it?” Her eyes didn’t leave his as he stood in the middle of the two beds. “You are mourning everything and it hurts ten times fold just because you woke up in a future you didn’t know. You deserve to take this time to yourself, Steve but I won’t let you neglect yourself.”

Now he understood the need for a hotel room he didn’t book. Christ, he didn’t even know what city they were in. London? Cardiff? Peggy always said her family had a plot to be buried in, but he didn’t know if she wanted that in the end.

Instead of allowing his mind to wander, Natasha had tossed him a change of clothes and a towel, ushering him into a large shower. The hot water did wonders to wash off the dirt and tear stains but he still felt dead and empty inside. 

Cold. He felt like his body was encased in ice again, first waking up on the cold, metal table, with too many noises around him. Too bright of lights flashing around him, a machine beeping loudly and hard in his ear. A doctor in a white coat yelling for Fury. He listened, strained his ears to hear her, to hear that accent, someone to say her name, even confirmation she was alive. It never came.

He woke up again in that damn room of Fury’s. That’s where it all started.

“You need to eat,” Natasha broke through his thoughts when he emerged an hour later. She’d ordered room service and about half of the menu. 

Steve picked up the first plate he saw, eating without really tasting. Natasha was watching him. Waiting. She wasn’t going to prod - she wasn’t like that. She just wanted him to know he wasn’t alone.

His dog tags, something he never took off, jingled as he set the plate back on the dresser, belly full in a manner that felt too uncomfortable for him in this current state. They jingled again as he sat back on the bed as if to remind him they exist. He sighed as he slipped them off his head, tracing over his own name, Bucky’s name, even Peggy’s where the wedding band waited for her.

“I tried-” Steve started and stopped, swallowing slightly. He glanced up at Natasha, watching her nibble on her fries. “I asked her to marry me.”

The redhead nodded, a remorseful smile on her face. “Did she punch you in the face and said no? She was famous for punching.”

“She was famous for lots but…” He shrugged his broad shoulders and laid back. “She said yes. It was in a church we’d taken shelter in during an air raid. The place was destroyed by the time we came out of the bunker, the only thing left standing was this...this half-hall of stained glass. She happened to be standing right in front of it when I got the last of our guys out, looking like a damn goddess.”

This time, his companion snorted and Steve felt his ears turn red. “Please tell me you didn’t tell her that. That’s so cheesy, Rogers.”

“I might’ve...whispered it in Gaeilge,” he murmured, looking down at the ring. “Which, of course, she knew. She didn’t tell me at the time, but she knew it. I don’t know what compelled me, I’m sure it was some fireable offense but we were so bone-dog tired that I didn’t think. She says I never think but I did it…”

“And she said yes,” Natasha whispered the words, leaning forward in the office chair she sat in. Her hand reached out for the tags and Steve deposited them. Her eyes lingered on Bucky’s before falling to Peggy’s, tracing over the wedding band. “Sarah Rogers - your mother’s?”

His head bobbed before he could stop it. “Ma left ‘em to me when she died, about the only thing I had with her that I could take besides a-a few books.”

“She was a lovely woman - both of them, I’m sure. I never met...your mother, of course, but from what you speak of her, she’d be proud of you.” This time Steve’s face flushed, his head dropping back to the floor as she handed the tags back over. “I met Peggy - Director Carter at the time. You’ll hear Clint say he made that call that changed my life, but it came from both he and Carter. He just took the rep for it. Fury went softer on Barton because of it, even if Carter wasn’t supposed to be acting Director at the time.”

“She’s always changing our lives,” Steve gave a strained laugh, shaking his head. “I...thank you.” 

He’s thankful he’s not alone, in the same manner, he’s not thankful because he wants to be alone. 

Laying back in bed, all Steve can do is curl up and hold onto the tags. They feel a hundred times heavier than they do on a normal night. They’re colder than normal against his skin and each breath makes them tinkle louder than before. A constant reminder at all he’s lost.

It's anyone's guess how he falls asleep - maybe Natasha drugged the food with some super-soldier poison, or maybe his brain is just that exhausted, who knows.

It’s barely the crack of dawn, the clock reading 4:28 am when he wakes up, knowing that he’s not getting back to sleep in this state. The other bed is empty, untouched. The food is gone, the only thing that’s left is a change of clothes on the table. 

His phone lights up, alerting him to a text.

I’m a call away if you need me. NR

He was once again alone and every feeling from the day before rushed back to him. 

“If you could change the course of time, would you do it?” Tony asked him one day, already into his third beer. “If you could change one key event, change the course of your life, would you do it?”

At the time, Steve had said no, that he regrets lots but being here, helping fight the good fight, it’s where he’s needed. Yet, right now, as he trudged on to pull his jeans and shirt on, and tuck the dog tags inside of his shirt, Steve knows if he was asked again, this time he would say yes.

Selfishly, he would say yes.

[neverthebridemusic]

AHOY! 🏴‍☠️ What a weekend, we’re ALIVE again ❤️ Finally some live gigs 🎶 And ohh it feels sooooo good 🎶 Thank you to all who came to see us… First Hampton Hub to a SOLD OUT crowd and then on to Acapela in Cardiff where we were given a standing ovation… Overwhelming indeed 😢 At Acapela I asked the audience if anyone had a belt as I’d mislaid mine, a man got up and whipped his off and there I was belted and booted and ready to Rock… The man never came to get it back?! So now he is the one with his trousers adrift 👀 😂 If you see a belt less man in Cardiff please tell him he can have his back at any time 🥰 x Two fabulous shows down and two to go… Tonight, Wednesday 11th August at 8pm UK Time, Living Room Live Stream coming from our Living Room to yours... neverthebride.tv/tickets 🎟 Sadly our special guest Susy Thomas is unwell with Food Poisoning 😢 and is unable to join us, we’re sending her get well wishes, she’ll be back 🎶 We’ll see you later 👀 The next LIVE Show is on Saturday 28th August at The @brunswickpub Hove. It's been two years since we played the Brunswick, it's one of our favourite venues. In lock down they nearly had to close their doors 😔 but due to crowd funding they’re still alive and Rocking! It will be just Nikki & Been at The Brunswick, what more do you need? They are "Never The Bride” right? 😎 xx 😁 Hope to see you somewhere soon. Next LIVE BAND gig Friday 15th October at The Pheasantry Kings Rd, Chelsea @pizzaexpresslive We are available for House Parties, Garden Parties, Festivals, Venues, “Rock n Roll ONLY Weddings, Funerals, Rock n Roll Morris Dances and more… Please contact us on our website… We cannot wait to see you for a hug… Thank you all for your support… Peace Love & Live Music…Nikki & Been ❤️❤️ xx Thanks to Jella De Vries for the photo 😘 https://www.instagram.com/p/CSbpQZODNYb/?utm_medium=tumblr